Boytoys and acolytes:
If you're "dying" to contact me, drop a note to firstname.lastname@example.org.
I want some of you fellas, if you are truly penitent, to help me with the !@(N(@@@#* moderators.
There is no reason for my site to be banned because some jerk started messaging me about being my sex slave.
(Are you kidding me? The way this site exploits women?)
Or for another making racial-related comments (I do not say rac-ist. but rac-ial) on the discussion boards.
Serve me, or meet your demise. Or if you're lucky, both!
-- THE Female Assassin --
Hello boytoys. I am the femme fatale of your dreams and nightmares, who wants to use your brain... before I eat it with a fork.
To submit your picks for my enrichment -- and my sheer enjoyment of your hopeless love as I stab a cruel stiletto onto your chest -- click here.
You're also welcome to post on my playbook or by private message.
Only the best handicappers are welcome. So far, of approximately 80 MLB 'cappers I've selected for personal contact, 35 have accepted and are in my service. I expect 50 by week two, and then may have to restrict membership.
Is it any wonder? I'm the woman you've always longed for and dreaded -- the gal your mother warned you about.
Not only that, I am interested in sports. That's how I got the idea to start this list.... from letting one of my moron ex-boyfriends lose a fortune trying to win money for me at a casino. I noticed the intelligent people seemed to be wagering on events, not at house games like roulette where brains count for nothing.
His loss is your gain -- so send you picks, and impress me. Top handicappers will receive the opportunity to continue serving me... and, for some, a few crumbs of my personal attention.
For a list of the weekend's top performers, or to join my page and begin submitting your best picks only -- please, no megalists -- click here.
Your Friendly Neighborhood Female Assassin
For those of you who have always fantasized about serving a real life femme fatale, a unique challenge has arisen:
The opportunity to submit your best picks to me, Female Assassin, and thereby gain some crumb of my attention... perhaps even my favor.
I have invited forty of the very top handicappers at Covers to serve me in this way; so far, more than half have accepted.
This indicates to me that I am right about the alpha male mind: The better you are at this, the more fitted you are to devote yourself to a beautiful, equally smart, incredibly hot, incredibly dangerous chic -- c'est moi.
The best among you -- and only the best -- will receive, in return... the opportunity to continue serving me.
Act soon, or miss your chance. Submit your picks on my blog, or, if you prefer, by private message. Don't keep me -- or yourself -- waiting.
This is to alert male handicappers -- I only want the best -- of the opportunity to serve me, Female Assassin.
Submit your best picks to me so I can enrich myself, and laugh in your face. Feel your obsession growing as you slave away for me and pray for morsels of my attention.
To join my throng of hopelessly enamored servants, send a private message, or post your pick on my blog.
This is a significant opportunity. Don't blow it with a loser.