Another Ole Timer story...

An old prospector shuffled into the town of El Indio ,  Texas  leading an old tired mule.  The old man headed straight for the only saloon in town, to clear his parched throat.  He walked up to the saloon and tied his old mule to the hitch rail.  As he stood there, brushing some of the dust from his face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old man and laughed, saying, "Hey old man, have you ever danced?"  The old man looked up at the gunslinger and said, "No, I never did dance... never really wanted to." A crowd had gathered as the gunslinger grinned and said,  "Well, you old fool, you're gonna' dance now," and started shooting at the old man's feet.

The old prospector, not wanting to get a toe blown off, started hopping around like a flea on a hot skillet.  Everybody was laughing, fit to be tied.

When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.  The old man turned to his pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers.  The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air.

The crowd stopped laughing immediately.  The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly.  The silence was almost deafening.  The crowd watched as the y... [More]

A Pet's Ten Commandments

1) My life is likely to last 10-15yrs.Any separation from you will be painful.

2) Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3) Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4) Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work and your friends, I only have you.

5)Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6) Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget.

7) Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8) Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, been in the sun too long, or myn heart might be getting old or weak.

9) Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10) On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Neversay you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, b/c I love you so.

~Take a moment today to thank God for your pets. Enjoy and take good care of them. Life would be a much duller, less joyful experience without God's critters.

Negative People

A woman was getting her hair done for her upcoming trip to Rome. She mentioned it to her hairdresser, who replied, "Rome? Why would anyone want to go to there? It's crowded and dirty...Your crazy to go to Rome. So how are you getting there?" "We're taking Continental," was the reply."We got a great rate."   "Continental?,That's a terrible airline, they're planes are old, their flight attendents are ugly, and they're always late. So, where are you staying in Rome?" asked the hairdresser.   "We'll be at this exclusive little place over on Rome's Tiber River called Teste."   "Don't go any further,I know that place, Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it's really a dump.."   "We're going to the Vatican and maybe see the Pope."   "That's rich," laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him, he'll look like an ant. Boy, good luck on your trip. You're gonna need it.   A month later, the woman returned and again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked about her trip.   "It was wonderful," she explained."Not only were we on time in one od Continental's New planes, but it was overbooked and we were upgraded to First Class.The food and wine were wonderful and I had a handsome 28yr old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the Hotel was great! They'd just finished a $5mil remodel and they too were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us the Presid... [More]