Most sportsbook bettors probably predicted this. Plaxico Burress, in all his lanky glory, is already struggling to cut it in prison. After just two months in the slammer, he applied for a work furlough, which would let him do some of his time at home.

Really, Plaxico? You think the State of New York will just let you go home because you no likey prison? Sorry, pal. Here are five reasons why Plaxico needs to stay behind bars for a whole lot longer.

5. He’d scare the neighbors.

If you live near a guy who accidentally shoots himself, can you trust him near your children or in the next house over? You’d have to wear a Kevlar vest in case his .40-caliber hand cannon blasts through the window. Plaxico would likely scare everyone away, making his lonely neighborhood like solitary confinement anyway.

4. TNA Wrestling can’t stoop any lower.

TNA already slummed by signing Pacman Jones and having him moonlight as a tag-team wrestler. Methinks bringing in Burress, which the company would surely try to do, would be a nail in the organization’s coffin. Besides, who needs Plaxico when you just landed the Hulkster, brother?

3. Shhh! Don’t tell Plaxico, but the New York Giants receiving corps is fine without him.

Steve Smith already has 979 yards and five scores. That puts him on pace for 1,466 yards on the year  – roughly 100 yards more than Plaxico has ever amassed in a full season. Smith’s 78 grabs through 12 games have also tied Plaxico’s career-best mark, which he set 16 games. Oops – guess Burress wasn’t a huge loss for New York after all. The NFL odds of the Giants bringing him back after his sentence are next to none.

2. Two months is not enough to mend your ways.

Sorry, big guy, but it’s hard to believe two months in prison have left you a changed man already. Two months is a slap on the wrist. Two months simply teaches you to do a better job hiding your gun. Two years, however, should make you think good and hard about the life you led. Just ask Michael Vick, who made the Eagles hot NFL picks last week.

1. We can’t risk him stealing Tiger’s thunder.

The Tiger Woods fiasco is exploding so huge that it makes the Vick story look like something out of a high-school paper. Drugs, car crashes, mistresses – Tiger is entertaining the hell out of us. We don’t need Plaxico stealing any headlines with a furlough. This is Tiger’s time.