As those who tend to wager on the odd sporting event will know, the game of hockey is a mighty tough one to regularly win cash on. Heck, even playoff teams can lose more than thirty games a year. Some sports betting enthusiasts opt for NHL futures and prop bets instead, but even they're unpredictable – remember when Blaine Stoughton and Jonathan Cheechoo led the league in goal-scoring?

Face it: if you're betting on the NHL this season, you need the help of a handicapper before you start clicking away at your online sportsbook. So, while we won't go out on a limb and predict the Hart Trophy quite yet, here's a look at the top five worst bets and NHL picks that you could possibly make this season.

(Oh...and that doesn't mean run out and test your luck on these in a preposterous attempt to hit the jackpot. These, my friend, just ain't gonna happen.)

5. Radek Bonk to win the Frank J. Selke Trophy
Remember the days when this guy was a “can't miss” prospect coming out of the Czech? The former Senators pivot is now a “can't believe he's in the league” liability on an already downtrodden Nashville Predators squad. Bonk is possibly the worst player in terms of value this side of Bulgaria, with an NHL-worst minus-31 rating last season. This Czech sure don't know how to check, and it's a miracle that while the Preds were unloading formidable talent, they chose to hang on to this hack.

4. Martin Havlat to play over 60 games
The last time Havlat played more than sixty games in a season was in 2003-04 – and that was three shoulder surgeries ago. Mach 24's arm might as well be made of vermicelli – or be surgically replaced with Chad Pennington's arm. Fragile ol' Martin will find a way to crawl back on the shelf before Game 60 against the Kings – just in time to watch the Blackhawks' long-awaited playoff run that he was expected to play a key role in.

3. Ryan Hollweg under five concussions
Following in the footsteps of former NHL jobbers such as Shawn Antoski and Jim Cummins, Ryan 'Horowitz' Hollweg is undeniably the worst enforcer in the league. According to hockeyfights.com, the only win this human punching bag managed last season was thanks to a mugging of mild-mannered Ducks rookie Ryan Carter. (Even Barry Horowitz pinned Bodydonna Skip.) The new-found Leafs tough guy was already KOed by the Sabres' Andrew Peters in Game 1 of the pre-season, and that trend is sure to continue. 

2. Colton Orr to win the NHL's fastest skater competition
Orr on the forecheck is akin to Mo Vaughn chugging down the first base line. Not only would one have time to read “New York” out letter by letter from his jersey, but one could probably recite the entire first verse of Frank Sinatra's “New York, New York” before the Rangers' tough guy made it from the blueline to the goal line.

1. The New York Islanders over one win in the regular season
Look out 1974 Washington Capitals, because this year's laughable edition of the Isles are primed to unseat you as the worst team in NHL history. In the salary cap era, marked by frivolous off-season spending, wacko owner Charles Wang instructed his former-backup-goalie-immediately-turned-GM Garth Snow to make a big splash in signing scoring machine Doug Weight. Yup, 0.37 points per game is all you need on your resume to center a first line in Long Island. Even last season, the Islanders' leading scorer, Mike Comrie, didn't even break the 50-point plateau. It's possible that in your NHL fantasy league, not a single Islanders player will be drafted. Any hopes of this hodgepodge squad approaching respectability were thrown out the window when the Snowman shoveled miracle-worker Ted Nolan to the curb.