Wife has girls night out with her friends. She's spent 2 of the past 3 years home with our two sons who are both under the age of three. All day she's telling me how I'm "really in for it" tonight and how the boys are going to make it hell for me and yada yada yada.

She leaves at 5pm.

I order pizza at 530pm.

Me and the boys watching football on the floor playing with lego's.

Pizza arrives at 6pm....boys are smacking the window as they watch the pizza guy walk up the steps screaming "Yay pizza!!!". We eat pizza.

7pm....bath time. We go downstairs after.

710pm....bottles of milk for both boys. We are sitting on the couch and I've got one on each side of me leaning into me drinking milk and struggling to stay awake as we watch football.

745pm....I bring them both upstairs and put them in there beds. I'm watching them on the monitor. Passed the F out.

750pm....me on the couch, drinking Captain n Coke, pizza slice, and small amount of action (25 bucks a game) on a few college games.

Too easy....