Yikes. What a first day of the NCAA Tournament.

There were plenty of big upsets with Vandy and Georgetown going down as well as some teams that seemed to be a winner on everyone’s bracket. A lot of people liked the Irish, UTEP, Texas and UNLV – all of which are gone.

Now that the smoke is settling on March Madness Day 1, it’s time to do some damage reports.

In order to help you understand just where you stand among the billions of amateur bracketologists, here’s a scale grading your picks with today’s pop princesses.

Taylor Swift

Your bracket is pure and perfect without a trace of red ink. In other words, you’re the Rain Man of Big Dance brackets. Everything you touch turns to gold. You didn’t like Vanderbilt’s chances away from the weirdo court in Memorial Gymnasium and you had a hunch that Georgetown wouldn’t show up on defense against Ohio. And you actually had Robert Morris winning on your bracket but scratched it out and went with Villanova in the last minute.


Rihanna

Your bracket got smacked around a little bit Thursday and changed the way you look at the NCAA. But you’re a little wiser and a little stronger because of it. And hey, your Sweet 16 is still pretty solid, your Elite Eight is down a team or two and all your Final Four is still standing strong. You carry a sense of confidence about your bracket – and so you should – you’re still a good lookin’ fella-a-a-a-a-a.


Britney Spears

March Madness got the best of you Thursday. When Vandy went down this afternoon, your frantic behavior and binge drinking triggered Child Services to take your kids away (not to mention the nasty crotch shot in the tabloids). And when Georgetown fell later in the evening, you shaved your head after convincing yourself your hair was the source of Ohio’s power. Your bracket is still in fairly good shape – picks wise. But it’s been thrown on the ground and pounded so many times, you have to squint really hard to make out the rest of your field. Pretty much everyone, including yourself, has lost all respect for your ability to call college basketball games. But if push came to shove – they’d still do ya.


Lindsay Lohan

Your bracket is a f@cking mess. You have no business watching college basketball let alone filling out a field of 64 – which is a lot like Ms. Lohan’s singing career. You think SDSU is a form of birth control (which you wouldn’t use anyways). Your bracket has so much red ink, it looks like a used maxi pad. Your picks were so ass backwards that you actually called Ohio’s win over the Hoyas. But you don’t remember it, because you’re shit faced and making out with some DJ. By the way, is that a dude or a chick?



Where does your bracket rank among these starlets?