It’s amazing how fast a year can whip by. It seems like only last week that Santonio Holmes dragged his toes for a Pittsburgh Steelers Super Bowl title.
But here we are, staring down another Super Bowl spread. And much like last year, I’m shunning the analyst and experts when it comes to capping the big game.
Last season, I matched wits with my 85-pound English bulldog Fritz. I had a good feeling about the Arizona Cardinals getting seven points while my dog was dead set on the Steelers. In the end, I was relieved that I could cap games better than an animal that eats its own puke.
How does my dog pick games you ask? Well, he sticks to what he does best – eat.
We assign a side to each of his favorite snacks and whatever treat Fritz goes for first is the winner. Last year, he sealed his fate by taking the
Pedigree Breath Buster Biscuit (Steelers -7) instead of the delicious and profitable
Purina Chew-rific Bacon & Cheese treat (Arizona +7).
This time around, the Super Bowl XLIV competitors were represented by a
Greenies Dog Dental Brush and the infamous Dog Whisper’s secret weapon,
Pup-Peroni.
The
Greenie was tagged as the Colts (-5 at
BetJamaica.com) for its efficient teeth-cleaning power, similar to Peyton Manning’s efficient offense. The
Pup-Peroni was assigned to the Saints (+5) due to its spicy flavor, much like New Orleans’ zesty offensive prowess.
After sending the dog out of the room and placing both teams (treats) on the floor, Fritz was called in to make his pick. Like a kid in a candy store, the stocky canine trots into the room with his eyes wide, fixed on the choices in front of him.
He makes a bolt for the
Greenie, so quick it would shock most people to see a dog this size move that fast. Fritz makes a quick sniff at the tooth-brush shaped snack but instantly tilts his bowling-ball head towards the
Pup-Peroni and sucks back New Orleans like a college co-ed at Mardi Gras, taking the five points and once again going against my Super Bowl play of Colts -5.
As for the total, we’ll do it much like last year: I’ve set the total number of dumps Fritz takes tomorrow (before kickoff) at 1.5.
If you like the over 56.5 points Sunday night then take the over 1.5 poops. If you are leaning towards the under, you better hope he fills the baggie to the top Sunday morning. I’ll post his final turd count before Super Bowl XLIV starts at 6:25 pm ET.
Good luck and enjoy the game.