Life, Love, and Gambling

Last night I wagered on a woman...figuratively, of course. You see, I had never said to a bartender, "I'd like to buy that woman over there...the one in _______ a drink. I'd witnessed the scene in movies and on television, but I always found the act overly dramatic and cheesy.

I was near the end of an extra-dirty Bombay-Sapphire gin martini, when I glanced to my right and saw a beautiful young lady at the end of the bar drinking a dirty martini as well. Two friends were in tow, and not a boyfriend was in sight. And what jazzed me even more was she kept looking my way. Of course, I'm no idiot, she could have been looking at the men sitting next to me. However, the guys next to me were old, wrinkled, and probably married.

So after ordering my next drink, a Bombay gin and tonic, I said to the bartender, "And I'd like to buy that girl down there in the purple shirt her next drink."

Before the drink ever arrived, a young, hip, bearded dude shows up and sits right next to my wager. He looked like a cross between a lumberjack and a Pearl Jam fan in his red and black plaid flannel shirt. He swiftly engaged her in conversation, and all I could think was, "That money would have been better wasted on Saturday college basketball." I also imagined getting pummeled by an Eddie Vedder look-a-like.

Later in the evening, the lumberjack left, so I approached the young lady in purple and introduced myself. I learned she is a history major. She does not like kids. A... [More]

Life, Love, and Gambling

Happy Valentines Day, everyone! You may be married so long that you jokingly respond, "Before the birth of Christ," when asked about the length of your union. Or perhaps you are so matrimonially challenged (multiple divorces) that your friends make over/under bets every time you tie the knot.

Maybe you plan to propose today...at a Buffalo Wild Wings, significantly buzzed, with the Ohio State/Illinois game blaring on a big screen behind your beloved. Many women will accept marriage proposals today, but I prefer to ponder scenes of refusal. "Give me a little time," she says. Then she spends the evening with her girl friends at a local bar, getting drunk on Appletinis while critiquing the entire relationship. She shares every unsavory attribute and idiosyncrasy: "Every fart smells like a rotten egg. If he pulls out a nose hair and it's really long, he comes running to show me. And he can't watch any romantic movie without laughing."

Be mindful and respectful today of those who have never, and will never, know true love. For example, some men in their 30s still live at home, do not work, and play World of Warcraft ten or more hours a day. Some women in their 30s still live at home, work at Wal-Mart, and would rather spend the evening eating ice cream and watching Lost. Image is everything in America, and some people are simply image challenged: grossly overweight, fashion disasters, socially inept, shy and introverted, or even mildly deformed.

Those in love... [More]