Poor Plaxico Burress. It's bad enough that the unregistered gun incident last November made him look like a ridiculous thug in an Elmore Leonard novel, but now it looks like he will spend at least one year in jail.
Although I feel Burress' football fame (or infamy) is unfairly being used by an over zealous, fame hungry New York City judicial system, I am puzzled why Plax is fighting prison with equal fervor. Burress will
not be doing hard time. He will probably be separated from the general prison population, or share a cell with a criminal whose greatest threat is a motor mouth.
Sure, like anyone who is jailed, rich or poor, the loss of freedom will be a bummer. And because Plaxico is yet another fallen sports star, the media attention will continue -- even on the inside. Whether we find Burress' jail time fascinating or downright hilarious, we are sure to hear updates. How does Plaxico pass the time? What does Plaxico eat? Who has visited Plaxico and what did they talk about? Has Plax made any friends? Enemies? Has he dropped the soap?
If I were Plax, here is what I would do. First,
negotiate a reality show with any willing cable network. If people will watch T.O., why not Plaxico...from a jail cell. Next,
welcome all interviews, the bigger the better. Interviews are often the
only way to fix one's image. I would love to see Plaxico on 60 Minutes. If ESPN taped a Sunday Conversation with Burress -- interviewed by p.h.a.t. Molly Querim, instead of that nitwit Jeremy Schapp -- I would
not blink! And tell me, honestly, would
you change the channel if you happened to catch Geraldo Rivera interviewing Plaxico Burress. Finally, if Plax is allowed Internet access in jail he
must Twitter and update his Facebook every single day.
Poor Plaxico Burress. He shouldn't fear jail time at all. The hard part begins on his first day of freedom: penning the certain best seller,
Safety First: How To Live Well In The NFL Without Shooting Yourself In The Foot.
Here are my
MLB plays of the day. I apologize, but I can not include write ups today. I am simply too busy...having fun! Good luck today, everyone. And remember, if you must pack heat, keep the safety on until the action starts.
Yankees -1.5 (-105)Padres -1.5 (+135)The Over Easy ParlayRangers/Angels Over 9 (-115) and Brewers/Astros Over 9 (-120)