Today America celebrates Labor Day.  According to the U.S. Department of Labor Web site (www.dol.gov), the holiday was created over 100 years ago as a "national tribute to the contributions workers have made to the strength, prosperity, and well-being of our country."

Bravo, bravo, U.S. government!  Those words have me tingling with a pride in my work never felt before.  Perhaps I should get a third job to maximize my worker's pride.  I'm just dying to contribute more tax dollars to a failing economy!

Work sucks.  Show me a truly happy worker, and I'll bet that he or she is 1) the CEO of a Fortune 500 company, 2) an overpaid actor, 3) an overpaid professional athlete, or 4) mentally ill.

For the majority of Americans, Labor Day is only about sleeping in late, firing up the grill, and getting so hammered drunk that you can almost tolerate the rest of the work week.

But wait, I forgot one important byproduct of Labor Day culture that has grown and evolved since the holiday's inception -- televised sporting events.

So today my fellow underpaid, underappreciated laborers, in honor of the gluttony and greed that makes this nation great, I am wagering on an unprecedented five events, arranged in a courteous, chronological manner:

Brewers +102

Arguably the most risky play on my card, Ben Sheets and the Brewers beat Santana at Shea 5-3 in April.  The Mets are inconsistent winners, while the Brewers are 8-2 over the last ten games.  New York's team batting average against RHP is currently a weak .248.  Although Santana is an out-of-this-world lefty, Milwaukee is batting an impressive .303 against left handed hurlers.  Johan will most likely give the Mets a solid six or seven innings, but then the most troubled bullpen in Gotham (6.91 ERA the last three games) enters the picture.

Rockies -169 

Over the last three starts, Rockies lefty Jorge De La Rosa has a solid WHIP of 1.28 and equally good ERA of 2.50.  He helped Colorado to a 7-2 victory over the Giants on August 26.  Opposing lefty Jonathan Sanchez may be 3-0 versus the Rockies this season, but those games were in April, May, and June, months in which Colorado's hitting was inconsistent at best.  The Rockies are now batting .319 against left handed pitching.  Say hello to your first September loss, Mr. Sanchez.

Red Sox -1.5 (-125)

Unlucky Os lefty Garrett Olson has lost his last two starts against the Red Sox by the same score, 6-3.  Adding to his misery is an inflated ERA of 13.06 over the last three starts.  The Red Sox are currently slugging .340 against left handed pitching, and the very capable Paul Byrd, 3-1 in August, 1.29 WHIP/4.66 ERA takes the mound for Boston. After today, Olson may want to pick up the Baltimore classified ads.  From Major League pitcher to Taco Bell employee, what a tale!

Padres/Dodgers Over 7.5 (-115)

Trends are elusive and unreliable, but have a gander at these two: Over is 6-1 in Madduxs last 7 starts vs. a team with a losing record.  Over is 5-1 in Youngs last 6 road starts vs. Dodgers.  Both starters have current ERAs over 5.00.  In addition, while the last five Dodger games have gone over the total, the Padres have seen four of five play over the total.  Dodger bats obliterated Chris Young way back in April, 11-1.  Maddux has failed to make it past five innings his last two starts.  That's bad news for an LA bullpen with a 7.66 ERA, but good news for over bettors.

Tennessee Volunteers -7

Until the offensive line and quarterback issues get resolved, expect the UCLA Bruins to struggle under new coach Rick Neuheisel.  Although the Volunteers did lose starters on defense, the secondary is intact and rumored to be one of the best in the SEC.  Tennessee does have a new quarterback in Jonathan Crompton, but the offensive line has five returning starters from a squad that only allowed four QB sacks last year.  In addition, even if Crompton gets a little queasy under center, he can hand the ball off to Arian Foster, who rushed for 1,193 yards and 12 touchdowns last year.

May all your wagers be winners!  And remember, love your spouse, love your kids.  Even love the cat or dog.  But loathe your job!

All-sports record: 19-10