Soon to be single at 41, I'd like to believe that true romance isn't dead. I seriously doubt I'll ever marry again, but something stable and reliable would be nice someday. But if what I observed recently is any indication of the state of dating these days, I may as well stick to "friends with benefits" and one night stands.

The other morning I was rudely awakened by thunderous pounding on a door down the hallway of my apartment building. Every few seconds the knocking would stop and the guy would plead, "Come on, open up!"

Finally he shouted the most famous four letter word...and the door swiftly opened.

Everything was quiet for about a minute, as the woman, obviously embarrassed, spoke to her crazed boyfriend in a hushed voice.

And then, surprising as a strike of fierce lightning, the boyfriend lashed out in a voice that sounded exactly like former wrestler Randy "Macho Man" Savage, "You are a f---ing whore, and he is a dead man!" He then slapped the wall outside her door violently and began grunting. He had snapped...snapped "into a Slim Jim!" that is. I then heard him pace up and down the hall, stopping now and then to flex and grunt.

I feared for the woman's life, but a part of me sided with the psycho boyfriend. How did she expect him to react, fall apart and leave like some dejected lover in a Merchant and Ivory film? Plus, I could not help imagining that any intervention on my part would lead to a possibly fatal pile drive move from Macho Man.

Luckily one of my neighbors must have called the cops, because before things could get even more Jerry Springer I heard someone enter the building and walk up the stairs. Peace was soon restored, but I never got back to sleep.

Enjoy tonight's single wagers, and with Valentine's Day just around the corner, try to act more like ladies and gentlemen than pimps and whores.

NHL
Toronto Leafs/Washington Capitals Over 6.5 Goals (-115)

NBA
New Orleans Hornets -2

College Basketball
Northern Colorado Bears -2