Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!

No worries, Covers forum fanatics, I haven't lost my mind, nor did I eat a bagel dosed with lysergic acid for breakfast.

University of Illinois alumni -- well, the one's who dorkily memorize college fight songs -- should recognize the topic heading lyric/white songwriter's lame attempt to capture an Indian war cry from the Illini fight song entitled "Illinois Loyalty."

Although I've lived in Illinois nearly all my life, I've never been a sports fan who only supports and cheers for local and regional teams. My uncle, a talented U of I wrestler many, many years ago, has threatened me more than once with the half nelson move, for my lack of support and fanhood for Illinois athletics.

Today, however, I just might find myself singing, however poorly, the "Illinois Loyalty" fight song...or the ever popular (and I'm not making this up) "Oskee Wow Wow."

Illinois +3

Here are a few other early afternoon picks that make me scream, "Che-he! Che-ha! Che-ha-ha-ha!"

Army -6.5

Louisville/Syracuse Over 44 points

Baylor +8.5

Good luck today, ladies and degenerates!

Life, Love, and Gambling

One of the best things about middle age is finally realizing that, apart from your job, or maybe getting on an airplane, image is not everything.

Substance matters most, but in America, and other countries as well, millions of "beautiful" people hold well-paying jobs...and perform horribly...while intelligent, gifted, yet "grotesque" people are either unemployed, or working at Wal-Mart, Taco Bell, take your pick.

I'm growing a winter beard. And as long as I groom the beard properly, 1) My children will not mistake me for the boogeyman. 2) Eastern Illinois students will not walk up to me and ask, "Dude, how much for a quarter?", and 3) Random strangers will not feel compelled to give me charity.

Enjoy the following picks. And trust that I embrace all of my Covers brothers and sisters, no matter the age, race, religion, face, cup size, etc.

Golden Gophers +21.5

Coyotes/Bruins Over 5

Early Games 5-Team 6.5 Point Teaser
Minnesota +28
Syracuse +14.5
Indiana +31
Temple +9.5
Tennessee +18

Hokie Hoax

The Hokie hype has just three quarters to live up to the pre-season buzz and hubbub! Otherwise, "#10" is going to fall in the polls quicker than a prostitute's panties.