...I'd rather do than watch another NFL playoff blowout:

10. Go to the bowling alley and get fitshaced.

9. Go to a karaoke bar and sing nothing but heavy metal.

8. Visit the library and read Henry Miller's Tropic of Cancer out loud.

7. Play Mafia Wars on facebook, or that other game where you
    befriend zoo animals and then slaughter them with a machete.

6. Play darts...with a printed photo of Joe Buck for the bullseye.

5. Watch those vulgar YouTube dubs of Bill Mays' commercials.

4. Send only grotesque Twitter tweets like, "Picking my nose," or
    "Just removed the pubic hair that was clogging the shower drain."

3. Drink White Russians and watch The Big Lebowski on DVD.

2. Fill the ESPN blogosphere with incendiary remarks to each and
    every "expert" that hoodwinked everyone into believing these
    playoff games would be competitive.

1. Write a letter to NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell, urging him to
    find a way to guarantee competitive playoff football next year.