Like many wager happy weasels, I jumped at the chance to bet on the outcome of the Brett Favre drama.  Do not stay retired Brett, for at -250 my earnings will be weak as the loneliest hooker on the block.  I would recommend playing this media game long enough to delay your first start until after the season has begun.  And, of course, you must play for a team besides the Packers.  Follow my advice, and you will have helped me and throngs of avid sports bettors gain 10-15 times more than the original wager.  If you must play the first game of the season, make sure you are not wearing a uniform the color of fresh Colby cheese or moldy cheese.  In other words, embrace the dark side, Brett!

Kidding on pause, a well regarded sports writer and best selling author, Mitch Albom, recently stated, and I am paraphrasing here, that minus the Shakespearean friction of the fiasco, the logical decision for the Green Bay Packers is to allow Brett Favre to quarterback the team.  The Packers have a real shot at the Super Bowl, and Favre, who is coming off a great season, is arguably better than rookie Rodgers.  Yet the drama continues...

As the third act begins, I couldn't help but ponder the things I'd like to see Brett Favre do if he stays retired.  Because denied the love of his life, pro football, do you really think Brett will pass the time with family, friends, and an endless supply of money?

Brett Favre, Fox News Talking Head
I'm sure that pal Greta could get Brett a job.  Fox, well known for "fair and balanced" news...delivered by women simply too shy to model for Playboy...would finally have a handsome alpha male to increase female viewers.  Rupert Murdoch would move one step closer to ruling the world.

Brett Favre, Actor
Brett's cameo in There's Something About Mary only gave us a glimmer of his strong acting skills.  Favre's everyman persona and muscled physique could make him the next Sylvester Stallone...or Bruce Willis...or Howie Long.  If Disney can find work for former gangster rapper Ice Cube, the House of Mouse can surely find projects for Brett Favre.  Here's a movie pitch: Aging NFL quarterback calls it quits, only to change his mind just months before the regular season begins.  The quarterback gets traded to a perennially bad team, say the Tampa Bay Buccaneers...no, the New Orleans Saints, because the Hurricane Katrina tragedy will sell even more tickets.  The quarterback guides the team to a Super Bowl victory.  Brett receives critical...understanding...that he is not a seasoned actor.  And regardless, the DVD sales are greater than Remember The Titans, so everyone is happy.

Brett Favre, Paperboy
If the early bird truly catches the worm, then look out for the paperboys and papergirls of this world.  Brett would arguably be the most efficient paperboy ever -- minus stops for autographs and pictures.  He may receive frequent complaints about the paper slamming against the front door, or the crude sound of his ATV at four in the morning, but who else on Earth can toss a newspaper over 50 yards and still hit the target?

No matter how this game ends, I truly hope that Brett Favre comes out the winner.  And given his penchant for late fourth quarter comebacks, I wouldn't bet against him.