Inconsistent Cowboys have you longing for the days of Landry? Got the Dallas doldrums so bad you dream of the Doomsday defense, or, better yet, the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders? Check out the following sure-fire ways to put the giddy-up in this year's inconsistent Cowboy squad:

10. No more Gatorade at practice. Instead, serve the team water out of an old wooden trough.

9. Deliver a fresh box of diapers to each team member after a loss.

8. Jerry Jones overlooks each practice -- with whip in hand.

7. Dr. Phil visits Valley Ranch.

6. Lil Wayne demoralizes Dallas in a verse from his latest rap song.

5. Carrie Underwood figuratively castrates Tony Romo in her latest comedic country song.

4. R. Lee Ermey, former U.S. Marine Corps drill instructor, suddenly becomes an assistant coach. Jelly donuts suddenly vanish from the practice complex.

3. Roger Staubach, the greatest Cowboy quarterback ever, calls the Cowboys "a bunch of overpaid pansies" on the Fox NFL pre-game  show.

2. Non-stop negative media coverage, at stun volume, on the jumbo-jumbo-jumbo tron at Texas Stadium during every practice.

1. Wal-Mart paychecks for every lackluster Sunday effort. For example, another performance like today in Green Bay, would earn Tony Romo about $50.00...before taxes.