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Tiger Woods jokes

By NYY928 | View all Posts
Posted Tuesday, December 01, 2009 07:53 PM

26 comments

1. Tiger Woods is so rich that he owns lots of expensive cars. Now he has a hole in one.

2. What's the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

3. Tiger Woods wasn't seriously injured in the crash, but he's still below par.

4. What were Tiger Woods and his wife doing out at 2.30 in the morning? They went clubbing.

5. Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an iron.

6. Perhaps Tiger should be using a driver?

7. This is the first time Tiger's ever failed to drive 300 yards.

8. Apparently, Tiger admitted this crash was the closest shave he's ever had - So Gillette has dropped his contract.

9. After a wayward drive, Tiger Woods found water before nestling behind a tree.

10. Apparently, the only person who can beat Tiger Woods with a golf club is his wife.

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NYY928 says:

12/01/09 07:53PM

Had to know these were coming

joemw74 says:

12/01/09 07:56PM

DTher85 says:

12/01/09 09:45PM

I got one better;

The black man in Tiger got him the Escalde. The Asian in him drove it into a tree.

Zinger!

phobanbud says:

12/02/09 11:52AM

When asked how many times she hit him, Tiger's wife responded "Put me down for a 5."

Rockdog says:

12/02/09 11:57AM

Paul Azinger?

godsfavoritedog says:

12/02/09 11:57AM

They're already making a movie about it ... given Tiger's racial makeup it will be called "Black Thai Affairs".

Due to recent events, Tiger will be changing his nickname. In order to keep it in the cat family, he will now be known as "Cheetah".

castor_troy says:

12/02/09 04:14PM

Yea well he just went from fried rice to fried chicken in one day...

TorontoJoey says:

12/02/09 04:22PM

lookingtowin says:

12/02/09 04:44PM

What do Garland and Tiger Woods have in common. You wrap both around a tree..

EChrist says:

12/02/09 05:24PM

When your putter knocks it in the wrong hole....be protected....

Titelist and Trojanz proud sponsors of the PGA tour

ct1016 says:

12/02/09 09:54PM

Jokes are cool for the moment.....I hope that women will be just as understanding when we joke about how Mike Tyson KOed his woman or how Dale Earhanrdnt chased him woman down with his car...

I too find the jokes amusing.....but realistically.....swinging a club at a vehicle that leads to a crash is assault and domestic violence.....while Tiger is wrong for cheating and we should laugh and joke....Elin should be having a mug shot on the net for assaulting her husband.

Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

ICAPSports says:

12/02/09 10:03PM

Would we all be laughing if Tiger sustaned a head injury from the accident that KILLED him?

may have taken a another week or so for some, but the truth is.....YES

Zucchero says:

12/02/09 10:35PM

Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

What do Lady Gaga and Tiger Woods have in common

“Bad Romance”.

Elin's excuse? She had to play a bad lie.

We now see that Tiger Woods drives very well on the

fairway but doesn't fare very well on the driveway.

What crossed Elin's mind as she stood there with a

golf club in her hand as she heard his lame excuses? "Just do

it..."

Tiger Woods crashed into a fire hydrant and a

tree. He couldn't decide between a wood and an

iron.

What do Tiger and the Beatles have in common? They

both experienced a hit with Norwegian Wood.

Zucchero says:

12/02/09 10:36PM

What’s

the difference between a car and a golf ball? Tiger can drive a ball 400 yards.

Elin

found out he’s not a Tiger, he’s a Cheetah.

Tiger

just hates it when he drives, and then his balls hit a tree.

Tiger

said the fault of the accident was his Escalade. It’s typical of a

golfer—always blame the caddy.

Tiger’s

car still runs, but it goes “putt, putt, putt…”

What

do baby seals and Tiger Woods have in common? Both were clubbed by a

Scandanavian.

ct1016 says:

12/02/09 10:43PM

Yea, I guess you are right.....some will laugh too when Tiger says you had your swing, now let me take my swing.....some will laugh at that violent act too.

redwally says:

12/03/09 12:19AM

She came damn bear close! He was in/out of consciousness, and he was obviously trying to get away quickly due to the fact he wasnt wearing ant shoes!

We live in a society where women are given much more leeway, support, whatever you want to call it, when it comes to domestic violence. I have seen firsthand a woman smack, punch, kick, beat her boyfriend/husband, and cause physical harm, and nothing was done by "the authoritys". I of course was brought up never to hit a woman, thats why I always have duct tape and a shovel in my trunk should a date go wrong!

fts1409 says:

12/05/09 11:30AM

If he had hit a mailbox and stop sign as well he would have a Grand Slam.

Warner Bros. has already started filming -movie will be called " Crouching Tiger,Hidden Hydrant ".

Nike is standing behind him but internal debate exists over their mktg. slogan Just Do It.

clepto says:

12/05/09 05:49PM

Bluefin says:

12/05/09 08:22PM

Due to recent events, Tiger will be changing his nickname. In order to keep it in the cat family, he will now be known as "Cheetah".

This is the one I like the best.I might save this one for use a few years from now.

D-Town says:

12/07/09 09:04AM

hawkeyefan1433 says:

12/08/09 10:20PM

-What's the difference between Tiger and Santa Claus?

- Santa stops after three hoes

hawkeyefan1433 says:

12/08/09 10:21PM

- What is the difference between Santa Claus and Tiger?

- Santa stops after three hoes!

archdriver says:

12/09/09 12:46AM

playing your own balls is the rules.\

swizzol says:

12/11/09 02:44PM

swizzol says:

12/11/09 02:44PM

NONEED4LUCK says:

12/11/09 03:08PM

I just got back from lunch and got the Tiger Special, It was a club sandwich followed by a danish.

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User:	NYY928
Joined:	January 2007
Location:	New Jersey
Team:	New York Giants
Occupation:	Education

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