SALTY's Blog

Posted Wednesday, August 08, 2012 11:39 AM

Handicapped one night stand.

If you were to tell me that I would soon be helping a woman out of a wheelchair in her room for business time I would laugh. Tell you what the hell ever and shut that bullshit up! Ha ha.

This weekend at a house party of about 40-50 people of which I knew about 4. Kegs, open bar, hired band, and the house was overlooking the river. It was explained to me by my buddy that I needed to go, I would fit right in and plus they had kegs and booze. All guys say this before trying to get another guy friend to go anywhere bar related...."Dude, you need to go because there's gonna be tons of bitches there". I did not say it but that is what I always hear. So anyway I cave in and agree to go if he did not mind picking me up. I am going extra out of my way to not drink and drive these days. It is not worth it, I know from experience.

So we get to this outdoor house party and hit the kegs and found a spot at a table to drink and watch the band that was setting up. Over time we made many trips to the fountain of youth and we had met a few new lady friends in line for the tap. They kept stopping at our table to make comments and chat after making us comments to them at the keg. Eventually after enough drinks, they came and sat down with us at our table.

One of the women took an aggressive liking to me. I was rolling with it because she was a very cute blonde but something seemed a little off. I chocked it up to the alcohol and just ... [More]

Posted Tuesday, January 03, 2012 08:22 AM

The Types Of Covers Forum Posters.

1-You have the guys who start threads with sports info/picks and opinions.
2-You have guys who start threads about random topics in the GD forum and some of the other forum headings. Some have a sense of humor but most do not.
Between these first two, you have guys who use original thoughts and those who simply search the internet and copy and paste what they find.There are guys who add value to whatever thread they are posting in or starting. Whether that be with adding additional helpful info or adding humor to have a few laughs. Some posters are respected for whatever that means while others get a new asshole ripped for sharing their 2 cents.
3-Then you have guys who offer nothing. These guys only comment in threads to talk shit just to expose how dumb they think others are. 
Whether it be in the sports topics forums or whatever. These guys are the cream of the crop of intelligence of the forums. We need these guys to let the thread topic starter know how stupid they are for various reasons that will be explained on a case to case basis. Wild stab in the dark here but these guys have been piss mops their whole lives and need a place to vent. Internet forum is the primo place to rebuild a broken down ego in real life.
4-You have guys that are always positive, 
5-Then you have the shitheads who have nothing but negative things to say. 
After seeing a few of a covers member's pattern of posts. You can tell.
6-Then you have the guys who r... [More]

Posted Monday, December 26, 2011 03:10 PM

Gravy debate.

I have grown up around top chef level cooks. I know everybody has the things they like that they are used to as far as holiday foods and styles. You never know what you are in for when you are a guest at someone else's place for a holiday meal. Who cares really because you are a guest in their home but the real deal is. You overload your plate of some disgusto item you could not choke down if you were on Fear Factor. But now you do not want to look like a dick and turn back in a full plate. What to do when you really fuck up?

I was with a friend today.....Girlfriend is a too strong of a word. So we will just go with friend but she wanted me to go with her to stop by her grandparents place. Man, the grandma was the nicest lady and all she wanted me and us to do was eat some food and stay awhile. I am telling the grandma that I am good, like 4 fucking times and she will not take no for an answer
I caved in and told her that sure, I will take some mashed potatoes. Shit! I had to get her off my back.She asks me if I want gravy on em? I tell her sure, that sounds good.She brings me a damn horse bowl with about a pint of the grossest shit ever! Giblet gravy! Yuck! It is some odd colored chicken broth type shit with eggs and what might ass well be ass meat floating in the liquid that she called "gravy"
OMG! I could not take it but I could not hurt her feelings and I ate about 75% of it. I am playing mental games with myself as I eat, joke, and talk about how g... [More]

Posted Wednesday, June 22, 2011 04:46 AM

Two in a half-somes.

I can't say I am a frequenter of letting people watch me do the business with that special lady. Actually, it really never comes up.

But before I go any further I am talking about having a chic watch the deed, not a dude! Are you kidding me. No way, and if I ever found out a dude wanted to watch me fuck...........Well, I don't know what I would do but I know one thing for fucking sure, that ain't happening

About two weeks ago it was mentioned in good fun when I came by late night to bang my big gal I met here. Her female roomate was drinking or they both were and having a good time. Who knows what the hell they were talking about before I arrived. Because this roomate duo had nothing but dirty shit to talk about which is cool with me as we are smoking. The roomate had made a few jokes or comments implying her getting up in the middle.

Usually that situation is to die for for any dude. But not this situation Her roomate is seriously the posterchild for butch looking lesbian chics. Also she is unshapely overwieght And she seemed all about it by the way she was talking. They are both cool as hell and I have actually been kicking myself lately for being lazy and returning back for another round of shame with the big gal. All because it has been easier than the alternatives, fuck it. I politely joked all that shit off and it went nowhere which was the plan for that 3-some

Skip ahead two weeks and as I hate to admit I am makin... [More]

Posted Monday, June 20, 2011 05:37 PM

The day I quit the weakest addiction.

Two nights ago while I was on my way to bang a fat chic at about 12:30 am, I stopped in at a gas station. And as usual there I am standing in line and that motherfucker cashier always asks "Is that going to be it?"

And of course on the way into the store I told myself not again,(and I am not talking about fucking a fat girl) but now facing this question in line I must do some scramble math to see which scratch lotto card to play. Or I should say lotto cards. An average trip for me for a drink at any gas station is about 15 minutes. That is because my bitch ass makes about 4-10 trips in to buy,cash, then rebuy more tickets.

It is fucking terrible and you get the biggest pussy feeling after a gas station binge. Walk in with $60 in your pocket and leave 30 minutes later with $11 bucks 

Funny thing is I have been a heavy gambler at everything I do since I was 16ish. With everything that has been going on with me I have put my 3-10 game a day sports habit on hold for the last 3 years, cut out online poker about a year ago. And in my mind am not gambling anymore. But now that I am not gambling anymore these pussy ass scratchers are skinning me alive! God damn being broke and desperation

It is so bad and has been since I hit several taxable payouts last year playing $20 and $50 scratch tickets. Those mini-big wins will hook your ass. I have told myself over a dozen times I am done buying but then only to rationalize... [More]


Joined: August 2007
Location: North Carolina
Team: Boise State Broncos

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