Breaking down the NFL Divisional Playoffs...

with KNBR radio host Eric Byrnes: http://knbrsportsphone680.blogspot.com/2012/01/113-scott-cooley-from-coverscom.html

NFL Drug Cartel

Sam Hurd was a drug kingpin that moonlighted as a professional football player.

In case you don’t know who Sam Hurd is (and that’s completely understandable), he is currently on the Chicago Bears roster as a wide receiver, but mostly plays as a special teamer. He spent five seasons in the same capacity with the Dallas Cowboys.

Hurd was arrested Thursday on federal drug charges. He met with an undercover agent in Chicago Wednesday night to negotiate a deal to purchase 5-10 kilos of cocaine and 1,000 pounds of marijuana every week. The agreement outlined that Hurd would pay $25,000 per kilogram for the coke and $450 per pound for the weed.

That’s a bargain price for both goods, especially the greenery. It must’ve been the dirtiest of schwag.

Do the math and Hurd was going to shell out more than $2 million a month on illegal drugs. Hurd was making $685,000 for his day job. You've seen Blow; he was making a hell of a lot more than that by night.



According to the crime report, Hurd was one of the top drug dealers in the Windy City. Businessmen, hookers and college kids weren’t his only clientele. Police obtained a list of NFL players who were supplied drugs by Hurd and the number was of the double-digit variety.

That got me thinking, who will be on the list if it surfaces? I’ll take a shot at the top 10 clients on Hurd’s speed dial.

10. Ricky “Sticky Icky” Williams - All of the 1,000 pounds of weed was for him.

9. B... [More]

Superman Sighting

Superman was sighted in the Steel City this week. He wasn’t wearing a red cape, but instead a No. 7 jersey with the name “Roethlisberger” emblazoned on the back.

If you’re like me, as soon as you saw the injury you thought, “Broken ankle, Charlie Batch time, that’s the season for the Steelers.” Big Ben was thinking the same thing. And he admitted it was one of the most painful things he’s ever felt.




Coach Tomlin said his quarterback has a high ankle sprain. If you aren’t familiar with sports injuries that grade of sprain usually takes 2-4 weeks for a normal human being to recover from. It took Big Ben two series.

It was an inspiring effort. They kept comparing him to Willis Reed…give me a break. Reed scored four points on his miraculous night. Big Ben threw for 280 yards and two touchdowns while 300-pound beasts were trying to further injure him.

That ankle is going to swell up to the size of a grapefruit over the next three days. It’s a good thing Pitt has 10 days off before the big showdown in San Fran.

The concern there will be not if Ben is going to play, but whether he can step into his throws. Because we all know if Rashard Mendenhall can’t get into the end zone on four straight runs from inside the 2-yard line against the Browns, he’ll be lucky to gain 25 total yards against the Niners.... [More]

Gobble Squabble

We all want to believe we're wise beyond our years. That's why you can't get through a Thanksgiving gathering without a fight, or what I like to call a Gobble Squabble.

My sister-in-law and I got into a mildly heated exchange on the eve of Turkey Day. I still think I’m right, she still thinks she’s right. We agreed to disagree.

But I’m searching for more opinions on the matter so if you feel like chiming in answer the question to this hypothetical scenario:

Your mother has been an upstanding citizen for the 60 years of her existence. Never been to jail, never even had a traffic ticket. Every week she goes to her friend’s house to play bridge, which is two miles away from her home. This week she won (which was common) and had a few glasses of Pinot Grigio to celebrate. While driving home she accidentally swerved into the left lane and clipped the back of another vehicle. That car spun out of control, hit a pole and the driver died.

So my question to you is does your mother deserve to go to jail for involuntary manslaughter?

I said no. My sis-in-law said yes. She said she would even put her own mother behind bars for a long time (and she likes her mom).

I say there are extenuating circumstances with every case. If the mom was a drunk and had three DUIs on her record then she probably deserves to spend some time in the pen. But a first-time offender should not.

Anyway, none of that has anything to do with what you guys and gals a... [More]

The Halo Rule

Lloyd Christmas had a one in a million chance to swoon Mary Swanson. Tim Tebow had a one in a million chance to succeed in the NFL.

So you're telling me there's a chance.

I’m adopting a new betting commandment called the Halo Rule. It states: Thou shalt never bet against Saint Tebow.

They said Timmy couldn't throw. He doesn't need to. They said Timmy couldn't run the option. He is. Like I’ve said before, this kid has the hand of God behind him, and the big man upstairs is a southpaw.

Forget about the Oregon Ducks, the Donkeys run the best read option in football. They even sprinkled in some triple option this week ala Georgia Tech. 

Is this really going to work in the NFL? Conventional wisdom says the speed will catch up. And you’d think with proper preparation a disciplined defense should be able to contain it.

But Miami, Oakland and Kansas City couldn’t. And the Raiders had a week to prepare. And the Chiefs couldn’t stop a third-string tailback.

The Donks just manhandled two straight division opponents on the road. With the AFC West looking uglier than the NFC West these days, Denver still has a lot of life left.

And as long as Timmy is walking on water, I’m giving them better than a one in a million chance.

That was the lead in my column last week. And I’m dead serious about the rule. I actually bet on Timmy and the Donks Thursday. Some people mocked my wager. Those same people talked me out of throwi... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 10

Has anyone else looked at this week’s card and scratched their head? There are 11 games with a spread of four or less.

When the lines came out Sunday night, there was only one number that jumped off the page. Every other lean induced a lukewarm feeling.

I had one reader ask me about teasers. Obviously teasing dogs lately has been a good avenue but I told him Week 10 is a bad one for teasers. Looks like you just need to pick the team you think will win.

Giants +4 (-120)

Yup, I’m the ordinary bettor so I bought the half point. I know it’s only a semi key number but I just keep envisioning a 17-13 or 14-10 game. Not sure which team will be on top, but let’s pray for the G-Men.

Jacobs (and Bradshaw if he’s playing) won’t be able to do much against the Niners front seven. Nobody does. But where I think San Fran will be vulnerable is in the secondary. Granted, it hasn’t been as bad as I initially thought but this will be the best quarterback it has seen. Eli is elite, there’s no question about it. Even without Nicks he was able to beat the Pats.

But the bulk of this bet comes from what I think will come out of the Niners offense, which isn’t much. Harbs may like to think he has an elite quarterback too but those terrorizing beasts up front for New York should knock Alex Smith down a couple of rungs. He’s been playing much too efficiently and this could be the week he makes some ugly mistakes.



If you’ve been following my ramb... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 9

After a bad betting week, I turned to Chumbawamba for some sage advice. They told me when you get knocked down; you have to get up again.


Like I said in my column, I’m a little gun shy going into the weekend. Last Sunday was certainly a blow to the ‘ole bankroll. But all told, I only lost about three units so maybe it just felt worse than it really was.

I’m a superstitious bettor so let’s change up the picks format for this week’s card. I’m rolling out a list look with reasoning below.

Bengals +3 (-120) and under 42

We know what the Gingerbread Kid and his cronies do. But I love this defense. The young, rotating line has been relentless all season. Cincy’s D has three touchdowns in the last three games. Add Pacman Jones and Brandon Tate to the return game and all three phases of this team are legit. I’d rather have the points in my back pocket instead of the moneyline because I think this could end up being a gritty, field-goal type of game. This is my first total wager of the year so please wish me luck!

Steelers -3 (-120)

As the old proverb says, revenge is a dish best served cold. The Steelers have been sitting on ice all week. I know there are tons of injury concerns on defense but I really expect either Lamarr Woodley or James Harrison to be on the field Sunday night. There are just too many conflicting reports on their availability. I think this could ... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 8

You can't beat yourself up over the bet you didn't make. At least that's what I tell people.

It’s just like poker; you have to forget about the hand you folded. Otherwise, you’ll eat a hole in your stomach agonizing over “what could have been.”

But I'm having a hard time accepting my advice this week.

I had two outstanding wagers that hinged on the Ravens winning, not covering, Monday night (only one posted). I could have hedged by putting $50 on the Jags +450 moneyline. If they won I would’ve lost five bucks. If they lost I would’ve won $125.

I’m the ordinary bettor so of course I didn’t hedge. And now I can’t seem to let it go because I was so close to being sharp that day. I knew the Jags had a chance, which is why I teased in the first place, but I didn’t have the balls to back them.

And then there were the two team totals I didn’t play, and of course both won. It was my first losing week in awhile so maybe that’s why these stung a little more.

Moving on…I think I’m going to have a lot of plays this week, which always scares me. But the last time I did I went 5-1 and last week I was 1-2 so maybe it’s a good thing. We shall see.

I posted my first two plays of the week in Monday’s column: Bills -4 (-120), Panthers -3 (-120).

Buffalo is coming off a bye and the Redskins are without Timmy Hightops and Moss. Even with those two on the field I would... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 7

My crystal ball is as cloudy as the basement in That ‘70s Show. I can’t predict line movement. And I’m not paying 300 bucks for an odds-tracking service so I can stare at a flashing screen all day.

So how does an ordinary bettor like me know when to pull the trigger?

Movement bit me in the ass again this week. I was already leaning Steelers when they opened at -4.5. I liked ‘em even more when early action dropped it to -3.5.

But I’m as greedy as the Grinch and wanted the field goal. Don’t we all? It would’ve cost me -130 to buy the hook so I waited on the off-chance that one more bet would tip the number.

It never came and the spread moved to -4 Thursday afternoon. I return to my quandary. Anybody got an opinion on this game?

The first bet I made this week was Packers -1.5, Ravens -1 (7-point teaser, -130).

I know this is Green Bay’s fourth roadie in six weeks and the bye is looming but there is no way a rookie quarterback is going to beat them. We know how fast this team plays and its speed is multiplied in a dome.

The Jags will be lucky to score 14 points on Baltimore. And Jack Del Rio will be lucky to have a job end of business Tuesday. Find my Week 7 betting mismatches on the front page Sunday for more on this game.

The second bet I made was Chargers ML (-130).

I like that San Diego is coming out of the bye but this is more a play against the Jets than anything. They did absolutely nothing to impress me M... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 6

It's one of those weeks where I like a lot of games, and that's not a good thing.

We all know how this goes. Build a decent bankroll, gain a little confidence and then lose everything in one vomit-inducing weekend.

I’ve been running so hot though. This is the best start to the season I’ve had in awhile. Hell, even my mismatches are 12-0 ATS the last three weeks. And I don't even bet those most of the time.

I don't know what to do. My discipline is wavering.

I’ll probably just end up playing what I like, go all out. If you’ve been crazy enough to tail picks from a writer you might want to tread lightly this week. Not sure what might go down.

You already know about the three plays I posted in my Week 5 column: Redskins PK, Bears -3, Ravens -1.5 and Raiders -.5 (6-point teaser).

Of course the Washington line moved. If you like the ‘Skins you might want to wait because public money will probably push it higher.

I still like them to win outright this week coming off a bye. Philly’s biggest problem is its run defense and The Rat will hand the ball off to that triple-headed backfield at least 40 times. That should limit Vick’s time on the field.

And I love this quote by Timmy Hightops: “They’re 1-4, we’re 3-1. We’re on top in the division and we control th... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 5

Anyone noticed that the NBA regular season is going to be shortened or canceled?

Four months ago the NFL lockout was a bigger crisis than the national debt. The NBA lockout is lucky to get a headline on the front page.

You only hear about how Tony Parker is going to play in France for $2K a month. Talk about a pay cut. Eva must have taken everything.

Most of us are up to our eyelids in pro and college football right now, but I do love me some NBA. And I’m going to miss it. But I’m not getting up at 3 a.m. to watch Dirkus drain shots for the Frankfurt bratwursts.

But I digress. There are bigger fish to fry right now, namely the Week 5 card.

I think there are going to be some late movements Sunday that go my. Be sure to check the blog that morning for added plays because there will be some, I promise.

I posted my first bet of the week in Monday’s column, Packers -5.5. Still looks good at -6 but if you like the cheeseheads don’t wait ‘til Sunday because this is going to hit a touchdown, I think.

I’ve talked about it in the column but this is not the same Falcons team that went 13-3 last season. Teams are keying in on the run and Matty Ice isn’t handling the pressure well. The O-line hasn’t helped him much.

The defense has been dreadful, particularly against the pass. If T-Jax can throw for 300+ and three scores then Mr. Rodgers is going to hav... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 4

There’s only one play that I really like this weekend. Everything else falls into the lukewarm category.

But after a 4-0 jaunt in Week 3, I’ve built a tiny bankroll and it’s burning a hole in my pocket.

But as we all know, this game is a marathon, not a sprint. We have to stay disciplined with our approach.

I’m leaning toward all of the NFC East teams this weekend, except for Philly. But I can’t get behind Washington. I like what the defense is doing but I just don’t trust Rextasy, especially on the road.

The first bet I made was Giants ML (-115). I am concerned about it being their third roadie in four weeks, and coming off a divisional win, but would be more concerned if they were laying points. To me, this spread should be at least a field goal because on a neutral field the G-Men would be 6-point chalk.

The young corners in the Desert are very beatable. And the O-line doesn’t have a prayer against the Giants’ pressure up front (good chance Osi returns). Corn on the Kolb looked awful against a mediocre Seattle defense, New York is much better. 

If Justin “Tuck your panties in” doesn’t play I’m going to puke. He said if he could board the plane then he was going to play. Please don’t puss out on me like you did in Week 1.

I waited all week for the juice to drop on the Jets-Baltimore line but I think it’s bottomed-out. Fearing the hook, I went ahead and grabbed Ravens -3 (-125). I’m not risking any more on it than the f... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 3

My dad always said he’d rather be lucky than good.

When you’re lucky, success simply falls into your lap. When you’re good, you have to work to succeed.

I’m lazier than a lapdog so I’d rather be lucky than good. I’ve been lucky in life -- have a good job, an amazing wife and a loving family.

But I haven’t been lucky as a gambler. Every so often I’ll be on the right side of a bad beat but more often than not, they bend me over.

There are more than a few athletes and coaches I would like to collect money from. Jesse Holley made the list last weekend. Shame on you Mr. Holley; run down like a hare. He was the hero, I got proper f@cked.




Other than the Ravens, I really felt like I made the right bets in Week 2. The Bills and Cowboys were the better teams. But slow starts by both resulted in two pushes.

But a push is better than a loss any day. And we live to fight another week.

I’m going back to the well with Baltimore. They can’t play poorly against inferior competition two weeks in a row. The loss at Tennessee was a wakeup call. It doesn’t look like S-Jax is going to play and now the Cadillac is in the shop. First bet, Ravens -4.

The opening spread for the Texans-Saints matchup was -5.5. Within a half hour after surfacing Sunday night the number had dropped two points. Some wiseguy has a Houst... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 2

If you’re new to the blog I know what you’re thinking…“Who is this pompous prick that thinks he can throw around the word lock.”

I promise you, I’m not that naïve, nor do I have any locks. Check out my Week 1 blog or column below and you’ll discover I’m the most humble handicapper on the planet.

I did stand a little taller last week after going 3-1. But to borrow a proverb from the infinite wisdom of The Wolf…“Let’s not start sucking each other’s [expletive] quite yet.”

I made my first bet Monday -- a 6-point teaser (-110) with the Lions -2, Ravens PK.

I’m the conductor on the Matt Stafford love train. As long as he, Jahvid and Megatron         stay healthy, the Lions won’t have any trouble scoring. And I love how Ndamukong Suh     said they aren’t a team that’s in a position to overlook any opponent.

Baltimore is a team I’m really high on. I just don’t see how the Titans are going to             contain Ray “Ruh-Roh” Rice this weekend. The vulnerability for the Ravens is the             secondary and Kenny Britt can’t beat them by himself.

I monitored the Dallas spread Wednesday and it looked like it was heading upward. Fearing the hook, I went ahead and grabbed Cowboys -3 (-120). Lines always move against me so I wasn’t surprised when I saw it as low as +105 at BookMaker on Thursday.

The ea... [More]

Locks for NFL Week 1

It’s impossible not to click on a thread or blog link with the word lock. We want to see the plays and then hope they lose because using the “L” word in sports betting is like saying Voldemort in Harry Potter land.

I know there's no such thing as a lock. And by no means do I have any below. In fact, I’m already second guessing a couple of the early bets. And to be completely honest, I’m a little nervous about having my record on public display all season.

But enough with the excuses and hesitancies, there will be plenty of that as the year unfolds, I promise. On to the picks, which by no means am I endorsing as locks, or even sharp plays.

I have to start out by patting myself on the back (which doesn’t happen often) because I took a position with the Texans -3 on August 20. I happened to be scouring my favorite NFL blog and the Jim Irsay tweet popped up. I went to BookMaker and the line was already off the board. I logged into my local’s website and lo and behold, it was still up, with a generous -105 juice.

This play will not count toward my record because it is not available. It would be smart of me to play the Colts +9 to possibly catch a middle, but where’s the fun in that. It’s like pulling an iron out of my bag for the safe tee shot. I paid my money to play; I’m going to use my damn driver.

My first official bet of the season was Giants -3. The pros always talk about shopping for the best line and I was thrilled when I snagged this o... [More]

Is Pete Rose a gambler and a cheater?

Look, I have a ton of respect for Pete Rose as a baseball player. I was always firm in my belief that he belonged in the Hall of Fame because of his accomplishments on the field, not his shortcomings off the field.

But recent news has me thinking otherwise. Not sure if you saw this because it didn’t hit mainstream headlines, but Deadpspin was all over the story. Earlier this month, the website reported that baseball memorabilia collector Bill Schubert X-rayed a 1985 game-used Pete Rose bat and found a foreign object in the barrel.


That's not tapeworm in there!

Schubert, who has been a lifelong Rose fan, admitted that he didn’t want to believe it when he first saw it but eventually said, “That’s cork in there.”

Rose was only playing baseball in those latter stages of his career in order to break Ty Cobb’s hallowed hit record. Some naysayers believe that Rose was corking his bats because he had lost some of the pop and plate prowess he possessed in his younger days.


This is the bat that was X-rayed

This wasn’t the first time Charlie Hustle was accused of corking wood. A few years back, speculation surfaced and Rose had to say about the rumors:

"Go up to Steve Wolter and get that 4192 bat," Rose said in 2004. "Take it to an examiner and see if there's any cork in it. I guarantee you there won't be.”

Keep in mind this is also the same guy that v... [More]

Instant Replay Constitutionalized

Screw history and screw the purity of the game. One day in the near future, instant replay will be the standard in all sports.

The unforgettable officiating gaffes sports fans have endured over the last month will make this prediction a reality. From World Cup goals that were not granted to a near perfect game that should have been, these officiating oversights have created a call for instant replay across all platforms.

The NFL was the first to go rogue and alter its rules to allow for replay and coaches challenges. This league really put the pressure on other major sports to find replay solutions.



Shot clock and out-of-bounds calls can now be reviewed by NBA referees inside two minutes of regulation or overtime. The NHL defers to a booth review when a goal is in question. And even the sport that some said would never change, Major League Baseball, has allowed for instant replay in determining whether home run balls are fair or foul.

If a finish is too close to call in horse racing or motorsports, they go to the video monitor in order to crown a winner. And does tennis even need a head official anymore? Replay systems such as Hawk-Eye and MacCAM provide a virtual track path of the ball in order to see if the shot was in or out. They use the same stuff for cricket matches.



I guess golf is about the only sport you might not need replay in. But the PGA even reviews tournament video to make sure players didn’t commit penalties i... [More]

Ten things I’d do after winning a 10-team parlay

In case you missed the news, one of our fellow Covers posters nailed a 10-team parlay this weekend that netted him a cool $150,000. I extend my warmest congratulations to IronPicks, you must have balls of iron for risking $500 on a 10-teamer. Can’t imagine what the rush would have been like when the last game came through.

Not sure what you’re going to do with the money but I’ve got a suggestion for you. Of course the smart thing to do would be make a safe investment with the winnings, but what’s the fun in that.

How about take a year off and go all out? Sounds pretty nice, huh?

If I were in your shoes, below are the 10 things I would do in the Year of Cooley!

10. Take a lengthy vacation to an all-inclusive beach resort. They better have a steady dose of umbrella drinks and Coronas with limes coming to my hammock because we will be celebrating every day.



9. Place a $100 wager on a 10-team parlay twice a week.

8. Cook some form of meat on the grill every night. Better yet, pay someone to do prepare it for me.

7. Play golf at least four times a week.



6. Order every sports package television offers so I could watch any game I wanted to.

5. Put a flatscreen TV in every room of the house. Bathrooms, kitchens, closets, garages included.

4. Attend at least one baseball game at every MLB ballpark.

<... [More]

'Stache making a comeback

Nobody rocked the baseball mustache like Rollie Fingers.

No doubt there were others before him, but Rollie's Handlebar-style 'stache put upper lip facial hair on the map in baseball.


Boingggggggg!!

With so many different styles available men can get creative with their look. You’ve got the Natural, Hungarian, Fu Manchu, Handlebar, Horseshoe, Pencil, Chevron, Toothbrush and Walrus.

And it looks like the mustache is making a big comeback in Major League Baseball.

Twins pitcher Carl Pavano appears to be the trend-setter in 2010. His fuzzy, caterpillar-like 'stache started crawling to creation a month into the season. Pavano was recently asked how long he was going to keep the lip tickler and he said, “Probably forever…”

Manager Ron Gardenhire said, “It makes him look meaner.” Apparently Pavano’s growth has its own Facebook and Twitter pages. And it must be doing something right, Pavano tossed a 4-1 complete game in Philadelphia on Sunday,


Where do you get those black Band-Aids?

Then on May 30, after the Pirates had completed a 1-6 road trip, Pirates utility player Bobby Crosby snagged the microphone on the team bus and said two words: Team mustaches.

Most of the Pittsburgh players followed suit and the team went 3-1 in its next four games. Unfortunately, the swashbucklers dropped five in a row after that but that’s neither here nor there. Check out Ryan Doumit workin’ the 'stache with the appropriate wife-bea... [More]

World Cup sucks

And that's why I don't watch soccer. After months of World Cup hype, Friday's opening matches fell flat on their faces.

Ummmm...excuse me Mr. World Cup, can I please have the four hours you just stole away from my life back?

I know action is a rarity in soccer, but two freaking goals in more than three hours of play! You've got to be kidding me. I'd rather watch ice melt.


We had to wait almost an hour to see this guy score

In the same amount of time it took 44 players on four teams to muster a pair of goals, 18 professional ballplayers on two teams produced 15 runs in the Windy City Friday afternoon. And some claim that baseball is boring.

The box score for the first match between Mexico and South Africa indicates there were 26 shots on goal. I can recall seven. Maybe they count the goalie blasting the ball from one end of the field to the other a "shot on goal."

And Uruguay actually did have only seven shots in the second match of the day versus France. I understand there may have been some sort of defensive strategy but how pathetic is that? I felt like I was watching UCLA basketball during the pre shot clock era when final scores barely reached the 20s.

Damn. I see the Americans are playing England tomorrow and I probably will be considered a foreign spy or terrorist if I don't watch and root on my fellow countrymen. Anybody have suggestions to keep myself occupied while watching the soccer ball being dribbled around ai... [More]

WTF? Chargers short favorite to win Super Bowl XLV?

The amount of respect the Chargers accrue each offseason is becoming absurd.

It’s almost as if every analyst, oddsmaker and handicapper forget what transpired for San Diego last year, the year before that, the year before that and the year before that.

Four straight AFC West division crowns and four 10+ win seasons in the last six years is impressive, but none of that means jack when you don’t hoist the Lombardi Trophy at the conclusion of the campaign. The Chargers roll into the playoffs white hot and become a trendy pick to win it all just about every year but perennially choke.


Norv Turner = Biggest choke artist in the NFL

But somehow Sportsbook.com has Diego listed as the second favorite to win Super XLV this season? The Colts are the favorites at +700 but the Super Chargers come in second at +800. This just doesn’t make sense.

Last time I checked the guy who can never win the big game, Norv Turner, is still leading this talented but underachieving squad.

And what about the Chargers’ running back situation. Should a team that is going to give the ball to a rookie tailback at least 300 times this season deserving of a Super Bowl future odds this low? I think not.


Rookie Ryan Mathews will be the feature back in Diego

Finally, San Diego’s top wide receiver, Vincent Jackson, is holding out of team activities while looking for a long-term contract instead of just signing a one-year deal as a restricted free agent.... [More]

Belmont Stakes Drinking Game

It’s only going to last about two and half minutes, but that doesn’t mean we can’t get tanked waiting for the Belmont Stakes main race on Saturday.

Mix up your favorite concoction or stick with the barley and hops but it’s time to get your drinking face on!


Please drink responsibly

1.    Every time Triple Crown is said, drink three.

2.    For every minute it takes for the entire field to get into the starting gates, drink three.

3.    If the announcers say the word “mudder” or “furlong”, drink.

4.    Every time they put up an odds table, drink two.

5.    When “Run for the Carnations” is said, drink.



6.    When a celebrity of any stature is shown, drink. (if more than one celebrity in the shot, drink that number)

7.    Every time they mention Secretariat, drink two.

8.    When your wife or girlfriend asks you to do a chore, say no and drink three.

9.    Every time the announcers mention Todd Pletcher, drink.

10.    If Todd Pletcher is wearing sunglasses, drink two.


"I'm so sweet...yea."

11.    If they show the audience singing New York, New York, drink three.

12.    If you see a horse urinate, drink two.

13.    Anytime you see a horse take a dump, take a sho... [More]

End of the walkoff womp?

It's all fun and games until somebody gets hurt.

The walkoff womp is one of the most exciting celebrations in baseball. In sort of a rite of passage, the player who delivers the game-winning RBI(s) gets the crap beat out of him. Teammates pound his helmet and tackle him to the ground.



Unfortunately for the Angels on Saturday, Kendry Morales went to the ground without the assistance of his fellow Halos. Morales broke his leg after he jumped into the awaiting gallery of pummeling fists. He had surgery Sunday and will miss the remainder of the season.

Manager Mike Scioscia had this to say after the game:

    It'll change the way we celebrate. It sure was exciting, but you always wonder if it's an accident waiting                   to happen. This is definitely unfortunate. We've just got to wait and see what we're dealing with. We'll know             more information as the night moves on. It's definitely not the mood we would expect in the clubhouse after a         win, but when something like that happens, it's definitely disturbing," he said. "These guys all feel bad about         what happened, but you've got to pick up the pieces and get ready to play tomorrow. It's a lesson for all of us.

So have we seen the end of this chaotic jubila... [More]

I’ve lost respect for Lamar Odom

On a slow night in sports the ‘ole ball and chain forced me to watch an episode of the horrendous reality TV series – Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

First of all, reality television induces vomiting for me. The only thing on TV that actually is realistic is sports, and that’s why we love them oh so much.

Secondly, why in the hell are these Kardashian girls famous? They haven’t done anything special to attain a celebrity status. The only hot one is Kim and she is just okay.

They’ve all been labeled Hollywood socialites but what the eff does that even mean? Sounds like a made up celebrity word for spoiled biatches that have enough money to put themselves on TV.



Anyway, on to Lakers forward Lamar Odom. As you probably know, Odom and the youngest Kardashian sister got hitched last September – after one month of dating.

But I’m sitting here watching this episode with Odom in it and he’s being all lovey dovey and using pet names and what not. Just not what you expect from a professional athlete.

Don’t get me wrong, there’s nothing wrong with showing your lady friend some TLC, but I just don’t expect to see a guy that I respect so much as a basketball player to look so un-macho.




So yes, I have lost a lot of respect for Lamar as a person, not player. He didn’t have to make appearances on this God-awful reality series but he did, and I hope he gets razzed about it every day by his buddies and/or teammates.

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Best outfield arm in baseball

One of my favorite plays in baseball is an outfield assist.

In my humble opinion, unless there is a spectacular infield play, an outfield assist should rank as the No. 1 Web Gem on Baseball Tonight any time it occurs.

Everything must happen perfectly for an assist to come from beyond the diamond. The outfielder must position himself under the fly ball, collect his body and arm and fire a strong, accurate throw to the target. And then on the other end the receiver has to pick it cleanly and tag the runner out.

Two ballplayers with an uncanny ability to gun people down were Roberto Clemente and Carl Yastrzemski. Yaz led the majors in outfield assists seven seasons during his career and the great Clemente did it five times.


R.I.P. Roberto – A great player and a better person

Watching a guy get mowed down at the plate Sunday got me thinking, who has the best outfield arm in baseball?

Ichiro is absolutely up there in the rankings. This future Hall of Famer is an incredible hitter, but almost just as good at defense. Check out this little Ichiro montage:




Currently, Michael Bourn leads the majors in outfield assists with seven. He no doubt has a live arm for a little guy (11 assists last year, Gold Glove) but I don’t consider it to be the best in the bigs.

Jeff Francoeur is tied for second with two other players with fiv... [More]