Posted Sunday, January 03, 2010 08:03 AM
-I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail.
-I ordered a burger at McDonald's and the kid behind the counter asked, "Can you afford fries with that?"
-CEO's are now playing miniature golf.
-If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them.
-Hot Wheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.
-McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer.
-Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children's names.
-A truckload of Americans was caught sneaking into Mexico.
-Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.
-Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore.
-The Mafia is laying off judges.
-Exxon-Mobil laid off 25 Congressmen.
-Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal. Oh Great!! The guy who made $50 Billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $1.5 Trillion disappear!
I was so depressed last night thinking about the economy, wars, jobs, my savings, Social Security, retirement funds, etc., I called the Suicide Lifeline. I got a call center in Pakistan,and when I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck!