_keyser_soze_'s Blog

Posted Thursday, January 17, 2013 01:45 PM

CE Customer Service is terrible

I just got back from Vegas and actually won some coin for a change.  So I decided to put some of that to work.  I even decided to get a paid pick from one of the "Covers' Experts".  Of course, there was a problem with the pick - the analysis was promised by Tuesday morning, and then Thursday morning, and it's still not available.  

I called through, and that didn't work so I sent an email.  I sent my first one on Tuesday.  Still haven't heard anything from them.  I guess they are all too busy dealing with offensive avatars in the threads to care about people who actually pay for their services.

What a joke!!

And I assume they'll delete this pronto - even though it's 100 percent true.

Posted Sunday, July 17, 2011 09:59 AM

SJP as Jan Brady

Well, it seems that SJP has officially taken over here at Covers.  Which is just ... sad.  Here's what we've learned about SJP so far...

1.  SJP is a "Covers Columnist".  How do we know this?  Easy, she lets us know in each of her ridiculous "articles".  what we also know, is that she doesn't let the truth get in the way when she writes.  It's too bad Rupert had to shut down his ridiculous paper  - as that would have been PERFECT for SJP.  No need to use the truth.  Just hack some voicemails, make up whatever you want, and whammo - you've got SJP's dream job.

2.  SJP believes in money management. She has told us money management is important.  And of course, SJP's ONE unit bet is $500.  Which means SJP has - depending on which betting strategy you bleieve (1-3% of your bankkroll) - between $16,000 and $50,000 in her betting account.  Um, sure thing.  And I'm the reason Olivia Wilde left her prince charming...

3.  SJP is the classic middle child.  If you ever watched the Brady Bunch, you'd recognize a LOT of SJP in Jan, Jan, Jan.  Not the uber hot Marcia, Marcia, Marcia.  And not the precociously cute Cindy.  Yup, it's Jan, Jan, Jan.  When someone doesn't agree with SJP in her roundtable - she runs to the mods and asks that they be banned.  Which is odd, in that SJP thanked the troops for keeping America free - I guess freedom of speech on... [More]

Posted Tuesday, June 07, 2011 01:54 PM

B's fans crying foul look like hypocrites

Look, it's unfortunate that Nathan Horton was laid out and ended up in the hospital.  I truly hope that he's okay.  And clearly, the play that put him there crossed the line.  Barely.  It was a late or blindside hit that deserved a penalty.

But when you look at how Zdeno Chara guided the head and neck of Max P DIRECTLY into the stanchion in Montreal, ending up in a broken bone in Max P's neck, and the B's fans who said it was part of the game - you get the idea that B's fans are .. disingenous at best.

I guess it comes back to the old "my players can do whatever they want to your players" - but "your players can't do the same to mine" mentality which a lot of homer fans seem to hold on to.  How sad for these fans that they value winning (and by winning, we're talking about a team they don't play for, aren't employed by, and will never be associated with) over integrity.

I believe in karma.  That's why I treat women with nothing but respect, so that when my daughter is old enough to date, she'll have seen her dad treat EVERY woman, even our nosy neighbour - like a queen.  So when Maddie goes looking for her ideal man, she'll realize that she needs someone who will treat her right.  Too bad Chara didn't feel this way, or he might not be dealing with the loss of a vital teammate.

Get better Horton.  And get objective Boston fans.  This hit was clearly no dirtier than the Chara hit - and if it wasn't fo... [More]

Posted Monday, May 23, 2011 08:44 AM

The Anti-SJP Perspective

After reading yet another blog by wondergirl SJP tooting her own horn about her pick of the Heat at even money in the Eastern Conference Finals - not to mention yet another dig at DRose - I've decided to put together a blog which has everything SJP's lacks.

If you're looking for...

Ridiculous comments - please visit SJP's blog.  She'll drop a bomb on you - something like the Hawks were "the better team" in the Bulls/Hawks seris.

Anti-Bulls drivel.  Look, I'm not sure if DRose spurned SJP at a club - or if he cut her off in traffic.  Either way, SJP has an unehalthy obsession with the current NBA MVP.  In fact, I considered calling the police to go and check out her home - as I'm pretty sure there would be some sort of Ray Finkle anti-shrine to DRose - with SJP mumbling Laces OUT, Laces OUT while she works on her artwork.  Either way, it's clear she lacks objectivity - so in truth, she's no better than the thousands of bloggers who claim to write without having an agenda, only to continue beating the same dead horse...

Pictures that try to make the blogger look "hot" with pouty smiles a la some cheap european model, then by all means, go visit the shameless self promoter known as SJP.

If you want...

Actual objective analysis - you stay with Keyser.  I don't have an agenda.  My local team is the Raps - and I have no illusions that they'll EVER be good - s... [More]

Posted Wednesday, October 14, 2009 08:49 AM

Keyser's Wednesday Picks

Only two games appeal to Soze on this blustery October day...


Oilers / Blackhawks OVER 5.5 1 unit

The Blackhaws have been terrible in goal of late - but they never give up - as evidenced by their nice comeback against the Flames (which made me money on the over, but cost me money on the ML - thanks a lot Blackhawks - or should I say Flames for not showing up in the second period).  I like a LOT of goals in this one.


Boise State -9 (at my book - I'm seeing 8.5 at others and will see how it moves today) at Tulsa  (Boise -9 for 1 unit)

Public sentiment was almost 100% when this line came out - but I have seen some dissenters of late who think Tulsa has a shot to win this outright.  I'm in the camp that realizes Boise ain't Oklahoma - but they still have the offense to put up points on Tulsa - and they'll get enough stops on the other side of the ball to cover the spread.

GL everyone


User: _keyser_soze_
Joined: March 2009
Location: Canada
Team: Dallas Cowboys
Occupation: Other

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