Well, it seems that SJP has officially taken over here at Covers. Which is just ... sad. Here's what we've learned about SJP so far...
1. SJP is a "Covers Columnist". How do we know this? Easy, she lets us know in each of her ridiculous "articles". what we also know, is that she doesn't let the truth get in the way when she writes. It's too bad Rupert had to shut down his ridiculous paper - as that would have been PERFECT for SJP. No need to use the truth. Just hack some voicemails, make up whatever you want, and whammo - you've got SJP's dream job.
2. SJP believes in money management. She has told us money management is important. And of course, SJP's ONE unit bet is $500. Which means SJP has - depending on which betting strategy you bleieve (1-3% of your bankkroll) - between $16,000 and $50,000 in her betting account. Um, sure thing. And I'm the reason Olivia Wilde left her prince charming...
3. SJP is the classic middle child. If you ever watched the Brady Bunch, you'd recognize a LOT of SJP in Jan, Jan, Jan. Not the uber hot Marcia, Marcia, Marcia. And not the precociously cute Cindy. Yup, it's Jan, Jan, Jan. When someone doesn't agree with SJP in her roundtable - she runs to the mods and asks that they be banned. Which is odd, in that SJP thanked the troops for keeping America free - I guess freedom of speech only applies if you agree wtih SJP. How sad...
Of course, SJP finds no problem in insulting the manhood of people that don't agree with her - so she can dish it out - but alas, like her hero LeChoke, she can dish it out, but she can't take it. Classsic Jan Brady right there.
4. SJP believes in sports loyalty. Except when she doesn't. She lists hr fave team as the Blazers - but she can't stop talking (or betting on) the Heatles. We're supposed to believe she won major dollars betting the NBA this year - but her top picks were teh Hawks over the Bulls and the Heatles over the Mavs. How'd THAT work out for you Jan? I thought so...
In short, I'm not sure if SJP is truly a middle child, but clearly she acts like the monster known as Jan Brady. And if you don't agree with her - she'll contact the mods. So look out!!
I'm sure SJP will go running to the mods about this blog, since I've exposed her as a fraud. The truth hurts. Oh well, SJP has that management job she lists in her profile to fall back on. You know, the one that pays her oodles of money, but allows her to spend her days posting hundreds of times on Covers. Right, and Anthony Weiner had his cell phone hacked and that wasn't his junk...
Just fess up SJP - the truth shall set you free. Until then, you're no better than the liars you call out on a daily basis.
As a great man once said...
You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have been found wanting SJP. In what world could you EVER compete with me? Not even in your dreams...
As usual - Kesyer Soze 1 SJP a big fat zero