AP Press release-------  Former coach Jimmy Johnson starts serving sentence early.  

 Apperenly in an unprecidented renegotiation with Lucifer,  Mr. Johnson has been granted permission to start serving his Eternal condemnation early by agreeing to pimp Extenze,  it was determined that this Hell on Earth was of equal value to being in the actual underworld, and time served will be taken off of the end of time.

Of course this all stems from the publicly well known "Deal with the Devil"  Mr. Johnson agreed to in the early 1980's and reupped on again when joining forces with the Devils #1 representive Mr. Jerry Jones.

In leiu of flowers for the death of his pride, please spend your money on Extenze or Fleshlights,,, they seem to go hand in hand.