fartnsniff's Blog

Posted Friday, March 05, 2010 09:54 AM

stop sign thrown up at the club on Saturday

I've slept with roughly 125 chicks over the last 11 years.  Not ONCE have I ever rejected a slut.

Last Saturday night out clubbin all night with my boys, we ended up chillin at Jersey's Club Abyss.  We hit the DF most of the night, grindin with the biggest sluts in the club.

Then it happened - some ugly beast of a woman wraps her arm around me from behind, grabs my balls and whispers in my ear 'your coming back to my place tonight'.

My first thought was 'it's on' - until I circled around and met her face to face.  In front of my eyes was easily Jersey's ugliest club chick, primed and ready for a tongue wrestling match.  This girl had a horse face on a good day.  They should have flat out rejected her at the front door, before her toes even hit the dance floor.

Completely not prepared for rejection, I had to come up with a quick excuse...the only thing I could think of was 'sorry, I have a girlfriend'.  LOL   She replies with "don't worry about your girlfriend tonight".   I awkwardly scrambled off the dance floor, finished my beer, and told the boyz were hittin another club.

Never in my life had I rejected a drunk skank before.

Has any other single guy out there EVER rejected a drunk chick?   I'm seriously curious about that one. My crew have been razzing me all week.

Maybe i'm just getting older and wiser? I should book an appt with a shrink to find th... [More]

Posted Saturday, July 19, 2008 02:47 PM

My FB sleeps with both her eyes open

This is weird - but apparently it's common.
I had no idea until the other night when I woke up in the early morning hours.  I opened my eyes to roll out of bed and my fuck buddy was lying there with her eyes wide open, peering over my head towards the wall.  
I asked her what the hell she was looking at - and got no response.  I then asked her how long she was awake - and got no response.   It freaked the shit out of me.....I then shook her, thinking she was either dead, or asleep.
Turns out this "disorder" is rampant throughout her family.   Her brother, father, Aunt, grandmother all sleep with their eyes open.  LOL
Fucking freaky.   Anyone else sleep like that?  


Posted Monday, April 07, 2008 10:17 AM

Getting a tattoo next week - Opinions Wanted

I have it narrowed down to these three they'll do for me.   I need to pick one this week.
Which one do you like the best?
This is my first tattoo....anything I should be warned about?

Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 08:49 PM

HOU / SAC Over 202


I've got heavy action on this one.

Take the Over 202 in the Sac/Hou game tonight and you'll be laughing all the way to the closest strip club you can find.



Posted Tuesday, April 01, 2008 08:39 PM

Lil Wayne CD

Man, i've been waiting for this release for a long time.

Tha Carter III is Lil Wayne's first solo album since the release of Tha Carter II in 2005.  The release of his first single off the album, "Lollipop," featuring Static hit the airwaves a couple weeks ago.

CD is in stores May 13th...check this one out, gonna be slammin.



Posted Thursday, March 27, 2008 10:14 PM

Hitting the Clubs this weekend

Any from Covers in the Jersey area?

I'm hitting the Clubs Friday or Saturday night if anyone wants to meet - have a few drinks and laughs on the dance floor. 

Probably will be heading to Coco Bongo with the boys.


Posted Thursday, March 27, 2008 09:59 PM

Too Easy

Even though we broke up last week, I called Sherry up for a booty call earlier tonight and she was game.

We watched TV for an hour -- then fucked like puppies for 30 minutes.

She was great about it.  She left shortly after we finished up, and now i'm sitting in my underwear watching sports on the tube.

Great night!


Posted Friday, March 14, 2008 03:00 PM

Having two girlfriends can be very expensive

The last 6-7 weeks i've been leading on a couple different girls....they both think i'm "the man".  I do the usual stuff with both of them...movies, dinners, gifts, boring conversation and great sex.

With one girl - I can afford it, no problem.  But doubling up on flowers and dinner is getting expensive....need to give one of them the boot, and hold on to one of them for a few more weeks of fun.

Looking for advice:  Who do I serve walking papers to?


- Great body and cute face
- Smart, but works a lot ... only available week day evenings and Saturdays
- Enjoys sex ... but only a couple times a week


- Pretty good body, ugly face
- Dumb and Talks WAY too much ... few times i've wanted to stuff my boot in her mouth
- Available night and day ... 7 days a week
- Loves sex all the time

Interested in what you guys would do.



User: fartnsniff
Joined: February 2003
Location: New Jersey
Team: New York Mets
Occupation: Media

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