starwink's Blog

My Friend

By starwink | View all Posts
Posted Thursday, April 02, 2009 11:53 PM   34 comments
My friend called me last night.  

We always call each other.  He's a bricklayer by trade.  64 years old. He can build the most beautiful fireplaces you've ever seen. He can build the most marvelous fieldstone structures ever photographed.

He's been battling cancer in his lymph nodes and cheek and tongue all winter.  He was scheduled for a dissection of the cancerous affected areas this week.  He has already been through the chemotherapy and radiation treatments to attack his cancer.

He told his doctor about the pain in his feet and surrounding his feeding tube at his recent doctor's visit.  His doctor told my buddy that was the least of his worries.  My friend had developed a couple of masses on both sides of his heart.  My buddy was given options.  
He could have the pending dissection.  He would have an incision made from his ear to his chest.  The post cancerous cells would be removed from his neck, jaw and cheek areas.  Rehabilitation and possible paralysis could result.  His prognosis for survival would be at the most, 2 years.

The other option was no dissection.  The possible spreading of the cancer in his lymph nodes would kill him sooner because the cancer would then be inoperable.  The masses surrounding his heart could kill him as well.

My friend chose the dissection.  He said he wanted the best chance of survival he could have.  Cancer research was his last hope and he wasn't going down without a fight.  He was a great athlete in H.S. A born competitor.

He has 2 daughters.  He hasn't told them of his entire situation as of yet.  I believe he told me last night in order to see how to break the news to his closest of loved ones.  He was practicing his speech on me.  It was painful as we'd go from BS stories back to the reality that faced him and his family.  It's sad.  

The sermons at church hold more truths than ever before.  I believe in a higher being.  Whether he's named God, Buddha, Allah, Jehovah, Mother Nature or anything else, I don't know what I was doing before I was a person.  I don't know what I'll be doing after I stop being the person I am today.

Today is the day the Lord has given us.  Let us rejoice and be glad. Tomorrow isn't guaranteed to anyone.

My buddy may die, but he's gotten his money's worth out of life, so far.  Pray for my friend.  Pray for his comfort.  Pray for his family. Pray for peacefulness in his final days.

He had his operation today.  His last words to me last night were, "I want to live as long as I can.". 
34 comments
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Degenerate says:
04/03/09 12:09AM
  That's terrible.  Things will work out.  They really always seem to happen for a reason.
michaelpaul1 says:
04/03/09 12:10AM
God bless him as well as you....
Cyrax says:
04/03/09 12:11AM
 
starwink says:
04/03/09 12:17AM
Thanks friends.  

I'd never have become his friend had I known he'd touch me like this.    
sjewell29 says:
04/03/09 01:05AM
Good Kuck, and God Bless!!!!!!!! 
XtremeSelectee says:
04/03/09 01:15AM
Praying for your friend

 

I hope when I'm his age that I can look back and be satisfied with the life that I've lived

gameto11 says:
04/03/09 01:47AM
   

umgmu says:
04/03/09 02:29AM
May your friend be surrounded by kind friends like you and a warm and supportive family
Chevyguy24 says:
04/03/09 02:36AM
KOAJ says:
04/03/09 06:35AM
prayers for  him starwink
rdrflyer says:
04/03/09 06:49AM
D-Town says:
04/03/09 08:01AM
Starwink, sorry about the horrible news. 
adamjoe says:
04/03/09 08:35AM
That is tough to hear.  Your friend needs you now more than ever....be there for him.

Thoughts and prayers to both of you   

-Clutch says:
04/03/09 08:47AM
RonJon says:
04/03/09 09:35AM
Wow, your friend is a fighter.......I wish him all the best    I lost my Mom and my Brother to lung cancer....... Here's a big Fuck You !!   to cancer......you just have to wonder about the quality of life he might have after the surgery.....
Rockdog says:
04/03/09 10:16AM
I have always wondered why good or bad things happen to certain people?  

 

I sse a guy that always have good things happening to him, and then I see another guy that always have bad things happening to him.

 

The first guy isn't any special or any different from the second guy, but yet, the first guy is so much better off than the second guy.

 

Is it because of divine intervention, fate, pure luck, etc?

jmw59 says:
04/03/09 10:26AM
I'm rejoicing and I'm glad in it.

 

All the best to your buddy.

ApacheM says:
04/03/09 10:27AM
 He'll be in my prayers. And you too, God Bless!!!
TIMBER9 says:
04/03/09 10:50AM
 Said a prayer for him just now Wink.

 

 Keep positive man.

 

HoldEm00 says:
04/03/09 12:15PM
sorry to hear man

 

 

i hope the operation goes  well and he lives for another 20

cd329 says:
04/03/09 09:03PM
Starwink,

 I hope your buddy pulls thru that awful disease called cancer and gets some extra time

wallstreetcappers says:
04/03/09 09:39PM
That is brutal no two ways about it.


CrusCrnshw says:
04/03/09 11:11PM
Wish nothing but the best for him...he sounds like a fighter.

 

EnPassant says:
04/03/09 11:34PM

I am an aethiest so my answer would be luck.  To quote Sam Harris, "But how else can we understand the claim that God is both omniscient and omnipotent? There is no other way, and it is time for sane human beings to own up to this. This is the age-old problem of theodicy, of course, and we should consider it solved. If God exists, either He can do nothing to stop the most egregious calamities, or He does not care to. God, therefore, is either impotent or evil."
michaelpaul1 says:
04/05/09 02:37PM
thats your problem...
Hugh_Jorgan says:
04/06/09 08:23PM

This isn't the thread to debate ones beliefs.

Starwink ... best of life to your friend

UNDERD0GG says:
04/06/09 09:24PM
God bless
DiscoD69 says:
04/06/09 12:55AM
My very good friend, who I consider my older brother, has fough off cancer twice.

 

He contracted other serious deseases while in prison. He is not a bad guy, just has had a very rough life.

 

When he was going through kemo, it was tough on me. He's 29 now, and many doctors have told him many times 'he'll be lucky to see his 35 birthday'...during the worst of times, some doctors even have said 'you'll be lucky to see next year.'

 

He is paralyzed and in a wheelchair, and has been for a couple of years now.

 

All you can do is keep fighting. He has beaten several things and is cancer free after numerous operations. After being told he will never walk again (nor have feeling in his legs again), he is doing very well. He has limited motion in his legs and in the past year has even been able to get in/out of his chair on his own, and has stood up occasionally ....something after the accident the doctors never thought would happen. despite losing the ability to move his hands/fingers, he can now grab a pen and even write with it, use a lighter (zippo) etc.

 

I think in a year or two, he will be out of his chair

 

My point is despite all the bad odds, keep up the hope, I have seen great things happen, and his outlook is much more promising now than it was 5 years ago. Despite the hardship, do your best to morally support your friend, and just enjoy life and the time you have together, because that is what is important.

 

I truely do hope your friend makes a full recovery, and lives well past the two years, but either way, do your best to keep both of you in good spirits throughout.

 

 

 

reppendayay says:
04/06/09 02:14AM
searchwarrant says:
04/06/09 01:31AM
Tough read. All the best to you and your friend.

 

Sometimes life just aint fair.    No wait.....it's never really fair.

TarHeel7703 says:
04/06/09 08:37PM
accventures says:
04/06/09 09:07PM
I battled cancer three years ago and cannot agree more with just how short life can be.
michaelpaul1 says:
04/05/09 02:38PM
Hope your friend pulls through and has a long life ahead of him...God bless...
Iw1nBets says:
04/08/09 06:21AM
hope everything goes well for him
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User: starwink
Joined: April 2005
Location: Ukraine
Team: Green Bay Packers
Occupation: Sales/Marketing

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