Canada's Sexiest Sportscaster: Osmak or Staniszewski

Summer has arrived and millions of beautiful women are soaking up the sun at beaches and parks. These beauties are out frolicking along sidewalks and taking aimless walks in skimpy dresses and heavy makeup.

It’s a wonderful time of year for the average man to enjoy the scenery, but gamblers and sports freaks are far from average.
 
We don’t care if it’s a bright sunny day. If we have action on an afternoon game, we grab the extension cord and put the TV on the back deck - the only chance we have of seeing a woman is if the pizza delivery driver happens to be a female.
 
So as a tribute to all my boys who are sacrificing the panoramic views of summer for the love of the game, I offer you the hottest women of Canadian sports broadcasting.
 
I have chosen 12 of what I believe to be the finest women in the industry and will be facing them off against each other over the next week or two, and with your help we will crown one of these anchors the queen.
 
So starting with these two lovely ladies please answer me one simple question...WHO IS THE BETTER MOUTHPIECE?

Check out the other first-round matchups: Hedger vs. Paquette, ... [More]

Stevie Williams deserves what he got

Is it ok to blast other chicks when your wife’s vagina is on the disabled list?

 

I’m not talking about when you’re on the road or when she’s out of town: that’s a completely different animal. That’s a matter of proximity. Her vagina is still in working order - it’s simply not in the area code.

 

What I’m talking about is those few months after childbirth, or if it’s out of commission for a few days for some type of annual oil change.

 

You’re still present for all aspects of the relationship on a daily basis. The only difference is she suddenly and temporarily shares the anatomy of a Barbie doll or a Lego woman.

 

Would it be so absurd for her to slide us a $100 dollar bill, kiss us on the cheek, and tell us to go down to the rub and tug for an hour?

 

Well apparently it is. And in the world of brothels and escorts Tiger ... [More]

Canada's Sexiest Sportscaster: Orlesky vs. Diakun

Summer has arrived and millions of beautiful women are soaking up the sun at beaches and parks. These beauties are out frolicking along sidewalks and taking aimless walks in skimpy dresses and heavy makeup.

It’s a wonderful time of year for the average man to enjoy the scenery, but gamblers and sports freaks are far from average.
 
We don’t care if it’s a bright sunny day. If we have action on an afternoon game, we grab the extension cord and put the TV on the back deck - the only chance we have of seeing a woman is if the pizza delivery driver happens to be a female.
 
So as a tribute to all my boys who are sacrificing the panoramic views of summer for the love of the game, I offer you the hottest women of Canadian sports broadcasting.
 
I have chosen 12 of what I believe to be the finest women in the industry and will be facing them off against each other over the next week or two, and with your help we will crown one of these anchors the queen.
 
So starting with these two lovely ladies please answer me one simple question...WHO IS THE BETTER MOUTHPIECE?

Check out the other first-round matchups: Hedger vs. Paquette and ... [More]

Sexiest Canadian sportscasters: Gaillard vs. Beirness

The DG continues his sexiest Canadian sportscaster bracket this week with a matchup between one of the OGs of Canadian female anchors and the new kid on the block.

Martine vs. Beirness


Martine Gaillard

Martine "the kitchen queen" Gaillard is 40 years old and is a prairie girl, born in Melfort, Saskatchewan.
 
She began her career as an anchor on the Weather Network, but due to her great looks and dirty blond hair the temperature wasn’t the only thing rising when I tuned in for a long range forecast.
 
A lust for sports and her Vanna White beauty enabled her to take the Score Network’s virginity when she became the first female broadcaster in their history before moving over to Sportsnet for a better paycheck.
 
She is currently married to Ed Richardson, the head contractor on ‘W’ Network's Love It or List It and spends most of her time with him pursuing her passion for cooking. Unfortunately she clearly has a passion for consuming those creations.

Let’s just say the camera adds 20 pounds in Martine’s case as of late.

Kate Beirness

Kate "the baroness" Beirness is 27 years old and was born in Port Perry, Ontario.
 
She was a superstar high school basketball player, but any hope of competing on the CIS level was dashed when she devastated her ACL during a game of naked twister after the prom.  
 
Kate has rebounded from that terrible tragedy and focused on reporting ... [More]

Canada's Sexiest Sportscaster: Round 1 - Hedger vs. Paquette

Summer has arrived and millions of beautiful women are soaking up the sun at beaches and parks. These beauties are out frolicking along sidewalks and taking aimless walks in skimpy dresses and heavy makeup.

It’s a wonderful time of year for the average man to enjoy the scenery, but gamblers and sports freaks are far from average.
 
We don’t care if it’s a bright sunny day. If we have action on an afternoon game, we grab the extension cord and put the TV on the back deck - the only chance we have of seeing a woman is if the pizza delivery driver happens to be a female.
 
So as a tribute to all my boys who are sacrificing the panoramic views of summer for the love of the game, I offer you the hottest women of Canadian sports broadcasting.
 
I have chosen 8 of what I believe to be the finest women in the industry and will be facing them off against each other over the next couple of weeks, and with your help we will crown one of these anchors the queen.
 
So starting with these two lovely ladies please answer me one simple question...WHO IS THE BETTER MOUTHPIECE?

Round 1 matchup

Jennifer Hedger vs. Renee Paquette



Hedger:

Jennifer Hedger - or Genderfur - as she affectionately referred to in the transsexual community, hails from London, Ontario.
 
But don't let her towering height of 5-foot-11 and her masculine features fool you - she is all woman.
 
She has been ro... [More]

Things my neighbour sees...

Due to the rise in oil prices i decided to switch over to electric heat last winter..

my drapes lay over the register under my living room bay window so for optimum heat distribution i open the curtains to heat the room..

i was dating a fiesty little cock socket at the time and she got some sick thrill out of inflicting pain on me..i drove this bitch so crazy with my verbal insults and overall assholishness that her only response was usually a painfill pinch to my tricepts or a sharp kick in the shins..

she would also grab my cock and try to shove it up my ass..otherwise known as "the goat"..i would defend myself in any way possible..headlocks..grabbing her wrists..taking her down and sitting on her chest..all while i laughed hysterically..

the more i laughed, the harder she squirmed, foamed at the mouth and tried to punish me..it was during one of these episodes that we got a knock on the door..it was the cops..turns out my neighbor directly across the street was watching this whole wrestling match go down like silent film through my open curtains while i was trying to heat up the living room..

Canada's Women's World Cup team: Who would you do?

I’m not sure if anyone is aware, but the FIFA Women's World Cup has commenced in Germany. Although the event is off the radar of most self-respecting sports fans, there are a couple of very pressing questions that must be answered:

1. What are the odds?

2. Which chicks on Team Canada would you play footsie with?
 
Canada’s next game is Thursday morning against France and all the action can be found at Bet365.com
 
Oddsmakers have set a generous payday of +230 for a draw. France is slightly favored at +150 and a Team Canada win will fetch you +180 on your dollar.

The Canucks are seeded sixth in the event but what are they ranked in your heart?
 
Here are a few of the finest exports Canada has sent to Germany since World War 2:
 
For the gentleman who prefers blondes, we have 22-year-old midfielder Kaylyn Kyle, hailing from Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. She has a name any up-and-coming pornstar would love to infringe copyrights on and the hair of a barbie doll. But dont let her low budget Carrie Underwood looks fool you, she is a fierce competitor who can make any man cringe when she tries to bend it like Beckham.


 
What about 20-year-old forward Jonelle Filigno from Mississauga, Ontario? Her sparkling eyes and flowing dark hair remind me Carmen Electra. Her pure sex appeal inspires me to throw one dollar bills after she scores a goal.


 
This conversation wouldn't be complete unles... [More]

DG: The Great Sedinis screwed me

When I place my bets I realize there are two sides to my wager - the good side and the Dark side. When I win I’m itching to get my next slice of action. When I lose I feel like someone just slammed the door in my face after pilfering through my wallet.
 
After an unsuccessful wager, I curse a few key players for playing like bums and then blame myself for being such sucker, but rarely do I ever take into consideration the feelings of the losing team. In reality I only lost a few hundred bucks, but the losing team sometimes loses much more. The Vancouver Canucks, for example.
 
To the victor go the spoils.
 
Going into Game 7 of the Stanley Cup Finals, both teams were alive with hope and excitement. Three hours later the destinies of both teams, their players and their cities had taken a drastic turn.
 
As I was flushing my 100-buck ticket down the crapper and ranting about the incredible disappearing act of the Great Sedinis, Roberto Loungo watched Tim Thomas raise Connie Smythe. Ryan Kessler, meanwhile, was watching Brad Marchand hoist Stanley and I was counting how many times $100 went around in a circle before it was lost to the sewer system forever.
 
The byproduct of the loss continued long past when the clock hit zero, though.
 
The Bruins were having a riot in the dressing room. The city of Vancouver had one too.
 
The Bruins get to throw out the first pitch at Fenway Park. The Canucks likel... [More]

Monday parlay: Fighting off the noose

I didn’t even set my alarm last night. I knew there’d be no need for me to wake up even though I had a tee time at 930 a.m. After I lost 3 bills on the Heat last night I flipped over to the weather channel and it let me know there would be no golf for me in the morning.
 
They say a meteorologist is the only occupation where you can consistently make mistakes and keep your job. But whoever said that obviously wasn’t a gambler. I’m wrong about as often as the weather man and my bookie hasn’t fired me yet!
 
Although I didn’t set my alarm, kept the phone on my bed side table. I figured if the weather was clear,  my playing partners would call and wake me up. They really enjoy my company lately considering my short game is in shambles.

But when I woke up parched and pasty, the clock read 11:30 and I could hear the rain pound against the window. I just gained three hours of sleep - my first win in weeks!
 
My life is as baron as arctic tundra right now. I’ve had the Casey Anthony Murder trial to keep me company over the last few weeks and as my luck would have it, the judge called an adjournment today and recessed court until tomorrow.
 
At least I had Howard Stern to fall back on, or it would have been a long hard afternoon with me petting my noose like a cat until the action commences at 8 p.m. And that’s all my life has become: staying busy until 8 p.m. every day when the action shoots purpose through my veins  and... [More]

Random Friday thoughts from the DG…

GERRY DEE IS NOT FUNNY - This sentence was ringing through my head as I watched The Score (Canadian TV sports network) and shit out a Delisio/Dejourno pizza. So I pumped that exact sentence into the truth meter known as Google and was pleased to see that millions agree with me.


TIGER WOODS MADE A TRIPLE BOGEY AND QUIT- We have all played with that guy who walked off the course after a humiliating snowman. Well yesterday that snowman was Tiger. Last year he walked off the course after being served with divorce papers during his round. Losses of over $100 million would cause me to bulge a disk in my neck too. I can justify that abortion last year, but yesterday, I can’t overlook. Is anyone really buying the knee bone is connected to the shin bone, which flared up the Achilles tendon bullshit?


TAXI!

THE TWO TALIBAN SUICIDE BOMBERS IN PAKISTAN WERE WEARING A LAKERS AND A CELTICS JERSEY - I think this is self-explanatory.




... [More]

Gametracker is a sports gambler's best friend

The thrill of gambling usually culminates with a monetary result...but there is so much more to the act that occurs before its finality. The fiscal aspect is just a way of keeping score..the real pleasure is watching the action unfold...
 
I envy those mechanical sociopaths who can simply research their action, pull the trigger on a handful of wagers and then go to bed. They wake up the next morning with breakfast and a newspaper only to patiently leaf through it until they reach the sports section and check their scores like lottery numbers..
 
I cant do that...
 
When i make my plays i want to watch my predictions reward me..i cant sleep until every game is over and my fate is decided..unfortunately my basic cable bundle rarely offers me the games that i have spent the day researching.. i salivate when i realize the elon college basketball team has to take 3 buses and ferry to play the charlestown cougars, but whats the chances that im going to be able to watch the game on tv..
 
Its angles and edges like this which leads me to the best friend this gambler can find..The Gametracker
 
Basketball on the gametracker is a decent fix for a sick gambler in the dark...a basketball game is high paced and scoring is very frequent..when your down 10 points your still alive..i stare at the screen and hope for the best..if my team misses the shot the next best thing for that gametracker to tell me is offensive rebound..i hang on ev... [More]

Did Jayson Williams get what he deserved?

Deafening silence fell over the bedroom of former NBA star Jayson Williams after the shotgun blast rang out.

It was in these moments of silence when Mr. Williams spoke the most selfish words he has ever uttered: ''My God, my life is over.''

As the smoke exited from the barrels of the Browning Citori shotgun, he held the lifeless body of Costas Christofi in his hands.

Christofi died on February 14, 2002 at the feet of strangers. Gus, as he was known to his friends and family, was a 55-year-old limo driver who was overjoyed when his boss told him he was going to be the chauffeur for the Jayson Williams booking.

Gus had battled drug addiction, homelessness and several periods incarceration throughout the 1980s but he survived those challenges and emerged clean, sober and at peace with himself by the 1990s.
 
After eight years of legal wrangling, hung juries and plea agreements this matter has finally reached its conclusion. Williams was sentenced Tuesday by State Superior Court Judge Edward Coleman to five years in a federal penitentiary with no chance of parole for 18 months.

[More]