A lot of people are pounding the Angels because Vegas has decided that the best team in the league is only worth -130 against the raggedy Mariners and their number five pitcher.
I guess Vegas officials are going to helplessly sit by the Bellagio fountains (which are out of order), and watch Laqueefa and Sharice obnoxiously barge their way through the line at the Hyde Lounge to tell the bouncer that they are on the VIP list for Brenda's stag. Upon entry, they immediately help themselves to one of the Texas Mickeys of Grey Goose. Brenda is having another baby but who cares? The three of them have a drunken and mildly heated conversation comparing the new grills that they just bought.
Sharice gets a little defensive and hostile when told that she has the mannerisms of Chamillionaire when wearing her grills.
"girl, you the one that be lookin like Lil Jon with dem Motherf-" she exclaims (with her voice being raised in an accelerated manner) but is cut off by a bouncer telling her to lower her voice and act in a more civil manner.
Meanwhile in Seattle, the Space Needle loses a few screws and falls and tumbles into the Puget Sound causing a few Piers to be evacuated. At the Pike Place, Marshawn Lynch is spotted engaging in some very unusual ritual involving a bag of skittles, a dead salmon, and four industrial sized bottles of Aloe Vera lotion. Nobody questions him, as they are more concerned about why the Mariners are down 25 runs in the fourth inning.
In Anaheim, a group of children in Mike Trout Player Ts are wildly roaming Knotts Berry Farm and decide to cut the line at the Sierra Sidewinder. Unfortunately, 9 year old Marlon is struck by a Trout home run ball (ironically) as he is midway down the track on the roller coaster. It is all caught on video and Marlon has a concussion, but his parents have decided to worry about their sons well being after the game as they violently wave whatever flag they can get their hands on while watching their Angels bet ticket cash in with ease.
Alot of people are hammering the Kansas City Royals in a manner so militant that the Fist Pumping Violence Quality Control Department has been summoned to every sportsbook in Las Vegas.
"Please lower your fists and your voices or we will have to ask you to leave the premises!" Exclaims Officer Smith as he simultaneously works to calm the crowd while attempting to detain another 35 year old that rode his moped right into the Mirage Resort Casino.
Meanwhile in Kansas City, the tailgating barbecues are in full effect as Dale loads another rack of baby back ribs onto the grill and you can see the sweat forming and triangulating near the lower back regions of the white confederate wife beater that he is wearing. Unfortunately his barbecue is knocked over by a Billy Butler homerun which comes flying into the parking lot at a velocity higher than his weight (in lbs).
In Boston, chaos ensues as every bean factory becomes infected with an unknown disease. Harvard Campus witnesses a strike for law professors, and every student is violently rioting in their dorms as textbooks and trombones are only two of the several objects that can be identified as flying debris.
Vegas loses another 6 billion from these playoff driven Royals, but nobody cares because everyone is aggressively waving that Royal flag as if Kate and William made an emergency landing at McCarran International Airport.
"Houston, we have a problem!" yells another astronaut as he sits in his Space Shuttle and watches in terror as it involuntarily launches off the raggedy pad only to be shot down by Mike Trout's ninth home run of the game.
It's just that easy huh?
Every bettor violently hammers that -125 Angels line with Weaver on the mound as Vegas prepares it's Mari Winsor Pilates DVDs (volumes 1 to 67) so that they will be more flexible when bending over and letting all the tourists rape them on this line.
Back in Anaheim, children are violently waving their wands outside of Space Mountain as Sleeping Beauty pricks her finger for the third time this week in the dungeon of the castle, allowing the Knights to have their way with her for the next 48 hours that she is cast into sleep. Mickey Mouse drives a caddy (intoxicated) and crashes into King Arthurs Carousel injuring eleven children, including J-Rock's son who will now have to sell the remainder of his three day pass. J- Rock and Laqueefa are nowhere to be seen at the time of the incident because they are watching the big screen and watching Pujols round the bases to extend the lead to 16 runs. Laqueefa then proceeds to access her speed dial to speak to her local Jeweler to arrange a grill measurement consultation. Meanwhile, Fakooki patiently waits outside of his stand by the submarine thinking that if he shapes his Gyros like Nemo his sales will increase, but that is far from the case as his ecoli infected goat meat has been disapproved by the FDA.
Meanwhile, Beyonce is holding a concert in Houston while the city is rioting and rockets continue to launch involuntarily being mistaken for concert fireworks, but nobody cares because everyone is violently lining up to cash in their Angels moneyline tickets early.
Awwwww....Laqueefa making duckfaces and sending them to Jrock again!
A lot of peeps are hammering Kansas City in a manner beyond royally hostile proportions as if the team has everything figured out huh? Ok guy, I guess those Indians are just going to forget about the playoff race and let the city of Cleveland build LeBron and Manziel monuments all over Progressive Field.
Factory workers in Cleveland are spotted throwing their Michael Brantley player Ts into Lake Eerie while... the Bone Thugs & Harmony perform on an artificial stage by the lake. The Lake Eerie lifeguard is seen purchasing a gyro from Fakooki's stand nearby as Bizzy Bone trips on a stereo cord and helplessly falls into the Lake gasping until his baggy clothes converge and form a flotation device strong enough to allow him to safely propel himself to the shore, but that ain't anybody's business.
Meanwhile, in Kansas City everybody is having a summer barbecue as they violently wave their confederate wife beaters above their heads when seeing that Billy Butler has hit his fourth homerun of the inning which hits and kills a raccoon on Interstate 70. Laqueefa and Bombqueesha have pawned off their new grills after losing their last bet, but have now taken up a loan for this one and headed down to Tiffany's to get new jewelry. Unfortunately, they are denied by security at the door because Missy Elliot has reserved the location for a personal shopping spree...they are told to come back after all the Royals victory celebrations are confirmed to be over by the Kansas City Fist Pumping Control and Safety Department.
In Vegas, nothing new occurs apart from the third hotel collapse due to excessive headboard banging from all of the free escorts being handed out with this free play. Other than that, nothing else besides Phandi Haquoon hiring unqualified cooks for all of the free buffet food being handed out also with the plays. Other than that, nothing else besides tumbleweed getting tangled with tourists because of all of the coconut lotion from the streets and Vegas prepares to get barebacked again in a sensual coconut scented manner.
A lot of peeps are militantly hammering the Milwaukee Brewers like it's a stubborn crooked nail. I guess Miller Brewing Company is just going to hand out free MGD bottles at every golf course in Milwaukee today while Bernie Brewer goes down the homerun slide with delight for the seventh time before the end of the third inning huh?
Meanwhile in Pittsburgh, another pirate realizes he is lost as he gets redirected back towards the ocean by a local river guard by the name of Offi...cer Donald Brown. He is struck with a flying piece of steel and does not make it out of the city limits. "Dayuum dat fool got smoked!" yells Laqueefa from the shore side as she polishes her platinum grills while bumping Wiz Khalifa on her beats by Dre headphones and smiles as her ticket cashes in (the Wiz Khalifa concert was canceled because the artist was experiencing discomfort due to tattoo irritation). She then shifts her smile to a duckface in an attempt to perfect her selfie as she sends snapchats to Jrock.
In Vegas, the Trump Tower collapses due to poor maintenance..as the headboard banging continues to force wear and tear on the relatively new establishment. LVH has hired emergency employees (with speed as their primary asset) to sneak into the Mirage and steal bags of money while highly trained coyotes distract the authorities. Sadly, no money is found either as both books have had to pay out enormous amounts to Brewers moneyline bettors. McMarron Airport can no longer permit incoming flight arrivals, as the city is unable to accommodate anymore tourists, but nobody cares because the entire nation is violently fist pumping from the elegant beaches of Milwaukee shores to the dangling half-collapsed Stratosphere observatory as Ryan Braun hits his fourth grandslam of the night killing yet another sailer on the Lake Michigan.